You are never alone!
Pondering what would happen to your family and friends right after you die is a sobering and sad experience. In fact this thought can provoke outright anxiety attacks. What will happen to my children when I am no longer here? Will my spouse be ok? It was not until a few years back in evening college philosophy and religion class when I finally realized that we are never alone. Think about anyone whom you may have lost recently. Is it not amazing how many people offered their help? Sometimes, folks whom you have not heard of in a while or ever will come forward and offer condolences and help. We are fortunate to live in a society that believes in helping wherever we can.
Do not get me wrong, I am not advocating a fatalistic approach to life and thus will always highly recommend planning for the improbable. Having a will and a plan what you want to happen in case your untimely departure should occur, and to share it with the people that mean a lot to you is a great idea. Once you have this plan set your mind should rest better from then on.
Think about what would happen when you get seriously ill. I find it mesmerizing to ponder how many organizations we have around designed to help you and your family coping with it. One big mistake you can make at this stage is to clam up and retreat to solitude. While it is always a good idea to make time for alone time, a health crisis is not the best setting and time frame to do so. Be open and inviting to help offers. If you need to cry, cry with someone. Healing is so much better if you are crying alone.
Our brains make the worst trouble out of you thinking what should be and reflect upon why it is not turning out that way. Train your brain to actively think about what is and what choices you have and which choice will render the best outcome for everybody. If you keep thinking about the future too much and you dwell on the past, then you kind of mess up your here and now. You can alienate people really quickly this way and end up alone – which is exactly the opposite of what you need.
Finally, make good use of the events that happen around bad times. For instance, when my mom died a while back, we sat down after the funeral with family and friends. I spoke with an old school friend of my mom’s and had a great conversation. In fact, we call each other occasionally and I visit her as much as I can. This new bond would never have happened had it not been for our tragic event. Be open to events like this and prepare to be there for others genuinely and sincerely. You will never be alone, ever.