The curse that can be a blessing
Sometimes this is totally true. When something bad happens to us you ask yourself and the highest authority as to why you, why now, why this issue, why not someone / thing else, etc. You get upset and outright bitter, after all, you did not ask for this, not now anyway. You rebel against the unwanted change to no avail. Only later, sometimes much later, will you find out the benefits and the outright blessing the ordeal in the past presents you with now.
I had reached the lowest point in my life when my alcoholic parents and my apprenticeship made my life outright hell. At home I could not plan ahead for anything. There was only alcohol induced volatility. Trust was not something I could extend much further than to my sister and my mom when she was totally sober as well as my grandparents. All of that did to me was to turn inward studying every nuance of dad’s words, gestures and mimics. I could pretty much foresee most of the misery coming before anyone else could. At school and then especially during apprenticeship I was extensively bullied. This provided ample opportunities studying more people and more situations in detail. When you spend a considerable time pondering and reviewing something it is often no wonder that this will turn you into a subject matter expert.
Where I am going with this? Simply this: All the time I used to spend in watching people interact with each other in front of me and / or with me is now coming in handy when leading people. I am acutely aware of people’s journeys. I can see their pain on their faces and I can see when they are silently crying inside and when they are genuinely happy. I am not a fortune teller, but I can typically see which choices they have to make and which one they most likely will go with. It is as much a blessing in that in most cases I can help out with connections, options, advice, or simply lend an ear. It is an unwanted responsibility when I know that the choice (or worse, nothing is chosen) they went with most likely will not turn out as well. Sometimes it is outright painful watching so much unused or abused human capital. Yet I must remain true to myself and let the future unfold naturally – it must be their choice, it cannot be mine.
I did not ask for this skill and neither did you. Let time heal your wounds and deal with your initial anger and bitterness. Only then look at your thoughts and take the opportunity to make something from the things you have learned. That is when you turn what used to be a big issue into an asset.