Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

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How do truces impact your life?

How do truces impact your life? 

You would think that a truce is a good thing. Well, it can be. Part of the problem of a truce in the conventional sense is that it is only the first step leading up to a dialog. It is not the end of the conflict. Worse yet, it can be the dangerous path to permanent temporary quagmire. Bad truces kill trust and wasted time and cost go up.

Problem is that a dialog during an intense conflict is rarely sought, or genuine enough to lead out of the truce stage. Ideally, the outcome is supposed to be a resolution and a commitment to do or be something different.

Shift your focus to a different continent. North and South Korea “enjoy” a truce that has lasted for decades. It turned into a nasty status quo that has done anything for anyone other than that some sort of normalcy has returned to either nation. Is this healthy?

Disagree with your wife and you hold up the white flag but never truly seek a genuine conversation and you are steering your ship of marital bliss straight on to rough and shallow ground.

The work place is probably one of the most fertile grounds for truces. Turf wars and little fiefdoms are more the regular scenario rather than the exception. Rather than seeking to collaborate on the differences, especially managers have a knack for pulling back into their departmental space where they are in complete control of what is going on.

That is pretty much the equivalent of Cornel Nathan Jessep (played by Jack Nicholson) in “A few good men” getting ready to leave the court room for his remote base. He did not get to do so, but when no one watches at work, guess what? A new nasty truce has begun that can often go on for years.

Why it is not healthy may be obvious. The organization is no longer aligned toward a common vision and mission. Departments and team members begin cooking their own recipes. Long term sustainability went out the window. There is a white elephant in the living room and no one does anything about it.

When conflict arises it is not a bad thing. Let it come to a truce, but then use this opportunity to seek to collaborate on where your differences lie. The moment the silence starts after the truce marks the beginning of the end. Make the better choice.

Ralf

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