Do I have to be perfect? The secret of providing an answer for your kids
If women went by the physical characteristics of Barbie then they would need to be about 7 feet tall and weigh around 110 pounds. A far cry from reality, huh? You watch TV and you get totally bombarded by the “ideal” picture what we and our lives should look like. What kind of example do we set for our kids, and ourselves?
Ahh, the perfect life. Living in a mansion with a 4 car garage, great job, fabulous spouse, travel to exotic places, money? no problem. It may be nice to look at but is this still the ideal to go for? Why do we think that the life style of the rich and famous is really for the average person? That is way too much stress. You would be comparing yourself with only a few celebrities. Yet so much of TV and the news revolve around a super small percentage of our population. Sure we may all get carried away sometimes with the thought of having more money – than sense.
The biggest issue is that this rat race starts from a very early stage in life. Attached is a drawing my daughter drew a while back when she pondered the issue. She still cannot fathom why she needs to be perfect. For that matter we have not been able to really ever agree on the definition of “perfect”. She did get the point that the most outrageous life style of wealthy and well-known people may be appealing, but it does come with major issues. The total loss of privacy being among the worst.
The most important thing that you can do for your children is to love them and actually showing that to them. Love them for who they are, where they are, and what their potential is. That may be taking a sleeping beauty nap waiting to woken up sometime soon, and it is up to you to be there for them when they start realizing this. Generate a healthy self-respect within you and your children and do not hold them up to false ideals. That is all they need to know.
What is perfect anyway? Help her define what “normal” and “perfect” means – for herself. Your normalcy must make sense to you and her. Period. Do not stress yourself and your kids out by wishing they can be (or should be) something or someone that they are not. Then always keep your doors open for when they come to you seeking advice. That is the beautiful part of being a parent: giving them roots whilst also giving them wings.