Who is the key person in your life who can make a break-through difference? It may not be your spouse
Why are sports teams, great athletes, and actors so successful? Well, they have one thing in common and that is having a coach. Everybody should have one. She helps you plan, implement, review, and also make important corrections. She helps instill the continual improvement process in you. Eventually you will be able spreading your own wings and you can soar high with Eagles – all the time.
The reason why coaches – or better the concept of a third party giving advice – can work so well is because they can be candid with you. In fact, they had better deliver this to you, or they will fail there mission altogether. Candor does not come natural and easy to any of your other close supporters such as close family, friends, co-workers, etc. and even sometimes your significant other.
Within such close relationships there is typically some form of expectations that are either voiced, or they are mutually assumed. Either one can really put an anchor on personal growth because you are simply led by the assumptions your brain must make without any external form of guidance. And yes, your significant other is usually adding to that very same mix. That is where the third party can make a huge difference with candor.
What the coach is allowed to observe is significant. Just think of what you are able to see when you watch a game from the seats in the stadium. You get a fuller picture because you are farther removed from the action. That has actually a double meaning. For one it is the physical distance and the other dimension is the emotional distance that can help seeing a clearer and fuller developed picture.
Sure, the coach is involved too and she wants you to succeed, but her vantage point is totally different. She can compare and contrast the big picture with you and how you either make a good fit, or you don’t. When you don’t, the coach can then use candor wisely even if it may hurt your feelings, but when you know what you want and what you want to stand for, the coach’s advice will go a mile to make quantum leap changes.
Really great coaches never make the exercise or success about themselves, but much more about you – the main actress / actor (no pun intended: artists typically have great coaches on board). The main thing for them is to keep your main thing the main thing.
Do yourself a great favor and touch base with a person whom you look up to and would like forming a deep connection with. Believe it or not, they can be rather welcoming to the thought of becoming your coach. You will never be alone and chances are that you will feel awesome about yourself. Execution of your plans and a little synchronicity mixed in and you will end up improving your life forever and beyond your wildest imagination. Candor rocks.