How to address our abundance of acquaintances and poverty of true friends
Be honest with yourself: How many true friends do you really have? Who would lend you a four figure sum without asking? Who would bail you out of jail in the middle of the night? Truth be told, we have many more acquaintances than we have friends, and that is pretty normal. How do we increase the chance of forming deeper relationships and finding more friends?
The first question is however if you are really looking for more friendships. Some of you may not even be looking for more. That’s ok too. On the other hand, one can never have too many good friends and it has been proven that an active social life is vital in extending your life expectancy in old age.
If you arrived at the conclusion that you are ready for deepening and extending friendships the next question in line is where to find them. Good news is that you need not look far at all. Your current family, social, church, and work settings are rich with people who may fit the profile. What’s left is the how you can manage to make this deeper connection.
Here is a simple recipe for setting the stage for getting to know people much better and how to pave the way for making it easier for people to approach you more.
- Smile. Your smile is the gateway to new conversations that are off to a much better start when you are prepare to smile and having some genuine fun.
- Give. Ask yourself what you can give and not what you can get. Give of yourself without expectations that you get anything back in return. Being genuine and sincere builds the trust upon which any good relationship rests.
- Curiosity. Maintain a great interest in increasing your self-awareness. Remain curious about the bounty of great things in our world that make it worth living to the fullest every day. Finally, take a genuine interest in others and how you can be of help to them.
- Favors. Do not ask them. Much like trust, respect, and friendship this is earned but no one owes anything to you. Do favors to others. That is my platinum rule: Do to others how and what they would like to do.
- Secrets. There are actually good secrets. What you are being told is no one’s business. No one. Unless it is public knowledge then a secret is only a secret as long as you keep it one.
- Party time. The best time to make friends is when you have time getting to know people while you are all having some fun. Really great conversations and ideas are also coming to light when creative minds get together.
- Contact. Maintain your contact and provide value. Keep giving of yourself and keep the other person’s success in mind. How can you make them more successful?
When we feel lonely the world can come crashing down on us the world can be a miserable place to be. It changes instantaneously the moment a helping hand is extended to us. Increasing your circle of friends is easier than you may think. It starts once again with you making a difference by taking the first couple of steps. Once you learn to park your ego and start giving of yourself things will turn around quickly. Let me know how you are faring with your quest.