Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the category “balanced life”

Gratitude – it’s not only for Thanksgiving


Gratitude – it’s not only for Thanksgiving 

Gratitude for the many things that you have been blessed with is one of those things that very few think about and even fewer do that regularly. If you want to life a long and rich life, being grateful plays a vital role in your mental and physical wellness.

“Gratitude turns what we have into enough”

I saw a statistic on TV recently that stated fewer than 3% of the U.S. population gets their minimum of physical activity per day. I venture saying that is most likely no different with the mental jogging part – how many times per week do you make room for meditation, self-reflection, or truly listening and collaborating with people who mean the most to you? There is not enough curiosity around and there is complacency and irritated folks surrounding us.

In the attached photo you can see the “1000 Thanksgivings” project at our local church from a while back. Everyone was to ponder what he / she is grateful for, write it down, and share it on the wall. On one hand you will really be taken aback by having to slow down your brain long enough to put your own ideas down. As you place your sticky note on the wall you notice all the other entries. In my particular case the things other people put down took my breath away, because face it, there are plenty of disasters and messes out there. You automatically feel better and most of all grateful for the “little” mess you are blessed with.

One cool mental exercise I can recommend to you is to write down what you were grateful for every night. You can do this mental stretch with your kids too. They learn a great routine that can last and benefit them for a long time. Gratitude determines how content you are with your life. It requires continuous reality checks that can be exhausting, and that is why life is a marathon; do not pretend it’s a sprint.

Ralf

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You get what you tolerate – on the job and at home


You get what you tolerate – on the job and at home 

Another close relative of candor is tolerance. It is not necessarily the polar opposite, but in fact it can be worse as tolerance comes close to indifference. Tolerating a pattern of performance issues, incompetence and a pattern of mistakes will only get you and the other party into trouble. Yes, you will have to put some will power into being honest with yourself and then others. The benefits outweigh the disadvantages almost all the time. The moment you put it out there what you would like to see, people will naturally change on their own in order to help you. If the pattern still continues you now know that you must make tougher choices: Do you need to change yourself or is it time to abandon your current relationship? Thinking and acting upon your choices will bring peace of mind.

Take some typical examples from work. You have a co-worker that annoys you with his loud telephone conversations. You could just leave it be, complain to others about this and finally just be miserable about it. On the other hand, you could choose to speak with the colleague and tell him how you feel and ask if he could possible do something about this. Catch the drift?

Here is a tip how to bring your issue up with others: First and foremost you need to have a plan what and how you wish for change to occur. Why is a plan important? You need to keep the meeting with your other party as constructive and factual as possible. Confrontation is not the way to go as you pull feeling and emotion into the discussion, which can put everybody’s brain into flight or fight mode. That would not be good. Identify the issue and think about what would happen if nothing changes.
Write it down and share this thought with your counterpart during the meeting. Now think really hard about what the change look like that you are asking about. Voice your desired outcome in the meeting.

This topic is just as relevant in your social life. Take for instance you being a parent. Especially kids will push the envelope to what they can get away with. Every time that they nudge and push you it takes quite a few nerves to sticking your proclaimed boundaries. The moment you give in because you are too exhausted anymore they win and it gets to be even tougher for you regaining control of the situation the next time around.

Life is all about the choices you make. Choose speaking about this and affect a change even if it is hard at first to make the start. Remember that you will be feeling better about yourself when you make the choice to not tolerate things that upset you. Are you ready to make some tough choices? Where can you make a start that you can experiment with this?

Ralf

You never know how little it takes making someone’s day


You never know how little it takes making someone’s day 

In the above picture I am holding a convenience store coffee cup that I am sure just about all of you are familiar with. It cannot cost possible more than one Cent or two but to me it is a priceless item that makes me smile every morning that I have time getting myself another one. Sometimes you do not realize how a small gesture of yours can mean so much to the one receiving it, that you may end up getting much more back than you ever invested.

My mom used to visit us from Germany over the summer or the fall and she used to get a royal kick out of getting a coffee in such a paper cup. She giggled like a school girl when she noticed the travel lids that would allow you to travel without spilling the beverage and yet also allowed you to drink it without dribbling all over yourself. I had forgotten about this little cup up until in early 2005 just about a couple of months prior to her way to early death due to esophageal cancer. By that time she had been on chemo and radiation treatments and I had been slated to travel to Germany to visit her in the hospital again. She asked me if I could bring a coffee cup over so. She did not say for what reason, but I gladly complied.

My sister, her children, and I went to visit mom at the hospital right away. Once we got our initial “hellos” out of the way, we went to the cafeteria and that is where I handed her the little Wawa coffee cup. Mom was so overwhelmed with joy that she nearly hugged the stuffing out of me. I had a hard time keeping myself together, but from that moment I could never look at these cups the same way again: This thing meant the world to her as it reminded her of all the great times we had had in the States and for a brief moment in time her life was wonderful and whole again. In the end mom may have lost her battle with cancer back in June of 2005, but thanks to a little cup she is right there with me.

I would like to inspire you to grant small gestures wherever you can, whether they are solicited or your own idea. Make sure that you do not desire to get anything back in return and then just watch what happens. I can make more than just your day.

Ralf

2 ways of dealing with conversations – brevity is your friend


2 ways of dealing with conversations – brevity is your friend 

People who talk a lot will not give you an order or good service no matter if you are a customer or a sales representative. You are not getting good service or an order when you are speaking with people who talk like waterfalls. Sure it may feel great being around these folks. They make you feel good and the time seems to just fly by. Next thing you know is that you are out of time and under the bottom line there is a whole lot of nothing.

Set yourself a time limit of tolerating the otherwise enjoyable conversation. If you have to get a minimum of progress achieved then stick to getting that done. When should you make an exception? Exceptions are made for folks whom you have met on the account of synchronicity – that is meeting them seemingly coincidently but strangely enough somehow on purpose. One never knows what those conversations lead to. All other conversations you might as well keep as short as you can.

Ralf

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