Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the category “enthusiasm”

Get busy living, or get busy dying


Get busy living, or get busy dying 

Photo credit: Ralf Weiser, Resistance to change. Do not get stuck on the left side of the “U” – for long

Life is too short for long pity parties. This week made me think of my best college friend who passed away too early due to cancer. She was such a fighter. When your life suddenly changes because you have just found out you have a challenging medical condition you can either keep feeling sorry for yourself, or you can already see the new path and plan that goes along with it. Some folks just get stuck in the anger, grieving, and resistance mode: “Why did this happen to me?”, “I just do not believe this!” It can lead to a state of utter confusion and self-pity. And it is a pity when you do not get out of that mode.

Feeling sorry for yourself however wastes time and lets your brain go on a down spiraling path to severe depression. Neither is helpful if time is of the essence. I will never forget the incident where my mom was sharing a hospital room with a woman who was exactly in this state of mind. Her illness was severe and her outlook on how long she was to live did not look great at all. When nurses and doctors asked her what she wanted to do she constantly changed direction. When she was alone with my mom or visitors she was constantly complaining about the medical staff, her condition – nothing seemed to work out right for her. It was painful to watch, especially when she snuck out the room to go downstairs for a quick smoke in order to “calm her nerves down”. Calm your nerves down, but stress your body even more with the effects of smoking? The woman went in a circle of self-destruction – she got really busy dying.

Compare this with my mom who had been diagnosed with stage 4 esophageal cancer 9 months prior. At the beginning of her journey of the long goodbye that is cancer, she had been given a few weeks to live. Not our mom, nope, she would have none of it. Hope and faith let her go through the anger, grief, and resistance time period really quickly. Plans were made to see specialists, treatments, and she even got new glasses to be able to see and read better. She had not gotten new ones in decades.

In the end cancer finally claimed her life 10 months after diagnosis. At the time the above mentioned story happened things were already not looking good at all, but my mom found the time helping the woman with advice, thoughts and prayers. The irony puzzles me to this day. Bottom line though was that mom was always busy living.

When things look bleak it may be easier succumbing to self-pity. Two processes are at work here. One is how a sudden major change goes through a U shaped process (explained here in more detail) and what you are going through is normal: Resistance, anger, grief, etc. That is the downward side of the U on the left. There comes a time when you hit the bottom of the U (figuratively speaking). You can either swing back up to anger etc, or start looking at the upside to the right leg of the U. It is the onset of careful optimism, hope, and exploration of opportunities. The other main process is that you have a choice. Are you choosing to get busy dying, or are you choosing to get busy living? What will be your choice?

Ralf

Busy is bad


Busy is bad 

Photo credit: Ralf Weiser, Brett Blair’s book “From Autopilot to Authentic”. It proves the point that slowing down is what we need rather than just doing more stuff

Multi-tasking is multi-wasting (click to tweet this). Perhaps it’s no myth to you, but it so pervasive in our culture that the vast majority of people probably do not even know that they overdo it. Multi-tasking is when you attempt carrying out all sorts of tasks and thoughts at the same time, or at least in close progression of each other. It has a few terrible side effects.

When your mind is racing because you want to get as much as possible of your stuff done, you no longer think about how much sense there is in doing them in the first place. When we are in motion we are just not making high quality decisions. Just think about the ruckus about texting while driving, and also being on the phone while driving. We are distracted when we do any of these things. Don’t just take my word on it. Here is Coach Brett Blair’s blog post on the same topic.

Here we are multi-wasting instead of multi-tasking and the time we saved may have been a total waste of time. It’s best to make a weekly and even better daily list the day before we actually have to do anything. Make sure to have some quiet time to really contemplate how important the tasks are. Assign a priority to them. Think about if you actually have to do them. Can you perhaps delegate it? Sometimes you may find that you don’t have all the information you needed in order to do the task. Some of the tasks will not end up on the list. You will end up erasing them because they no longer make sense now that you had time to think about them. Finally, some of the tasks take so little time that you get them done after your planning session (beware of scope creep though).

Don’t waste away precious time. Sometimes it is better slowing down instead of speeding up. Your friends and family will enjoy a happier you and at work you will be recognized for being extremely effective. Effectiveness beats busyness any day no matter how hard you think you work (click to tweet this).

Ralf

Facing your greatest fear


Facing your greatest fear 

I used to not think twice about how I should confront my top fears. I though I had no choice. Fear was fear and I did not get close to them at all. Avoidance was my mode of operation – if you cannot change anything anyway, just avoid getting close. That is why it had not occurred to me that my primary top number one fear was my own shadow. I was afraid how powerful I could be and I did not let my own light shine sort of speak. I owe a lot of building up my strength to Marianne Williamson’s “Our Greatest Fear”. See what you think.

Ralf

 

Our Greatest Fear — Marianne Williamson

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

Your parents may be the dumbest people you will ever meet, and…


Your parents may be the dumbest people you will ever meet, and… 

Recently I went to an event that highlighted the workforce development crisis that has hit almost all industries in the region: Low unemployment rates that have been around for a while and the younger folks do not seem to be excited getting into the workforce early on. Manufacturing, Agriculture, Emergency providers, Hospitals, Trades, and even IT, etc are all dying at the vine for new team members. Among many issues one struck me as a new caveat: Millennials and younger adults are having issues finding and then connecting to future employers. How sad is this?

Assuming this is truth to this it would be sad indeed. One speaker then asserted the following, and I quote: “Your parents may be the dumbest people you will ever meet, and yet they are connected”. Going back to my youth I can totally identify with adolescents not wanting to have anything to do with their parents. On the other hand, they are indeed connected with so many people in many different circles. Why not make use of this invaluable resource. A parent should not get you the job, but they can certainly connect you with a person or place that may offer you a job. Make good use of this opportunity. Businesses do not hire people. People hire people and that requires connecting at a personal level.

There are so many open positions and exciting careers are waiting for suitable candidates. I am most excited about the many new opportunities that finally offer new career paths that allow starting a job and / or apprenticeship path that also embeds post-secondary education in it. This “yes and” pathway no longer lets students and parents dread having to make the choice between either going to college, or “just” joining the workforce. I am even more excited about more and more organizations paying attention to offering tuition re-imbursement, a career path, and a lot of support and structure helping team members get there.

All you need to do is allowing your parents to connect you with a person that just may listen to you – and it may lead to a new career path.

Ralf

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