Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the category “information sharing”

Think twice about holding a grudge


Think twice about holding a grudge 

When someone irks you bad enough that it starts to affect your behavior, then you may just have to make the effort to forgive this person either in person, or you do this quietly in your head. Back in the fall of 1995 I woke up bathed in sweat and in horror realized who I had become: The exact opposite of my dad, just worse. How on Earth could I have allowed a person whom I had not seen in six years at that time, who also did not live on the same continent as me to direct my thinking and feelings? It was mind boggling to me and right there and then at the edge of the bed I reflected upon how this could have happened.

It dawned on me quickly that the underlying motivator was for me not to be like my dad. That had always been very tough as him and I look like twins to start with. Mannerisms and even speech pattern were very similar too. The bigger irk factor was however that he had been a long time alcoholic and growing up together with my sister in a household of him and mom being alcoholics had not been a walk in the park. Dad’s psych terror that got physical on a few occasions was as unpredictable as was the intensity. It got so bad that I helped my Mom with the divorce and later packing up Dad who left us with a bit of debt and later claimed personal bankruptcy such that he did not have to pay support to Mom. Topping this off was living in a small German community where we kids were labeled losers just because our dad had made some really bad choices. That is enough to make one bitter, right?

Well, that is where I went wrong. From the day Dad left our house to the above mentioned event, my primary thinking pattern was guided by the thought not to become like my father. What ended up happening was me doing things 180 degrees opposite of what I thought my dad would have done, but would this have been my own natural, sincere and genuine choice? I wanted my life back – as soon as possible. I sat up folded my hands, said a prayer and forgave my father for all the nonsense that had happened. A sense of relief flowed through me and the very next day I started to feel better about myself and the choices I made.

My case was probably a more severe case of this, but I implore you to think about the people that have hurt you in any way and how your thinking and actions may be altered forever in a non-sustainable way if you do not forgive them. That does not mean that you will turn out to be great friends again, but at least you can stay true to yourself and the folks that mean a lot to you get to experience a genuine you and not some other person.

Ralf

7 steps that help turn fear into courage


7 steps that help turn fear into courage 

The most often overlooked thing is that there is a tipping point just before you become courageous. Prior to that point you are not committed to do anything yet. This stage is very unsettling and does not feel good at all. Question is if and when you will make the decision to do move forward and fully engage.

No wonder that this time frame of uncertainty feels uncomfortable. Courage is the ability to confront pain, intimidation, fear, uncertainty, danger, etc. In most cases you risk your health, reputation, status, or economic well-being. They are all not pleasant things when they go wrong.

The bizarre thing is that once the action has started our oldest part of our brain   kicks in and protects us. This “lizard” brain tries protecting us from harm when we are threatened; it works like cruise control once the adrenalin is pumped into the blood stream. The ensuing action may take hours that will fly right by without noticing. What we will vividly remember the most is the time leading up to the tipping point.

Here a few mental concepts that may help you get over this hump of a tipping point:

  1. Think of all the people whom you may be able to help by standing up for what you believe.
  2. Ponder how much time you spend from realizing the need for action and doing something about it. I mean that you need to study actual versus estimated time. The time we think it takes making up our mind typically differs with the real world. Our brain tries playing tricks on us and typically we think it takes longer than it does.
  3. Realize that most famously courageous people did not intend to be famous or courageous – it just happened to them and they made the best out of it.
  4. Take deep breaths. Think about the fact that you are ok for the moment. The future has not happened yet, so do not worry about it. Anxiety is not your friend today.
  5. Seek friendship and companionship. Going through unsettling times together with someone else helps coping with tough situations.
  6. Think of the rewards. The biggest deal is not having to live a life of regret. Nothing is worse than not doing something that later on you wish you had.
  7. Realize that other people look up to you. You may not know a lot of people that pay attention to what you do and what you have to say. Choose to inspire.

Much like the pirates of the old days, we must put the saber into our mouths and fully engage our fear first and then the enemy. Your stomach may be churning at first, but what are you really afraid of? Walking away from a challenge may let you live a life of regret. Do you want to choose that?

Ralf

How to turn problems into career advancement


How to turn problems into career advancement 

Tired of all the folks around you who gripe a lot and can point out issues even on a good day? The vast majority of employees can isolate issues and talk about them all day long. Only a few can actually kick this up a notch and provide possible solutions and even implement them.

Problem is that this can turn out to be a really bad career buster. Leader-managers look for people who can take work off of their busy schedules. Funny thing with problems is that they are typically no secret and only the densest of us cannot see them. Mentioning and listing them over and over again does not solve anything.
Worse yet, it kills morale. The complainer turns out to be the problem. Great, more work for the leader-manager. Not.

Interested in turning this dynamic around? Here a few easy steps that help you fix issues and help kick your career up a notch.

  1. When you see a problem that is really annoying you resist the urge to vent. Griping to the wrong person may land you in the HR office. Your co-workers and team members will start avoiding you; you can easily turn into a time and energy sink. Take a quick walk through the company. It helps mind and body.
  2. Refrain from excessively combatting bad ideas or concepts. No worries, bad ideas are never long term sustainable. Do not waste your nerves on this process. Keep focused on bringing forth good ideas.
  3. Focus your attention on 1 problem. The problem needs to relate to the root cause – not symptoms. If you address symptoms you will experience scope creep and that is a lot more work that way and highly ineffective.
  4. Think of 2 to 3 possible solutions. Make number one the one that you really would like to do. The second one that you could still live with, and number three if you had to. Go to your supervisor and propose it.
  5. Experiment with your solutions. Success breeds success. It also builds your skill set. Invaluable and it will not go unnoticed. If for nothing else, it makes you more valuable to the organization. That is a really good thing when the economy is not doing well.
  6. Make sure that you keep doing the above over and over again.

Rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission when you look and experiment with your solutions. Any mature leader-manager will leave you alone and appreciate the self-sufficient work that you did. It is a win-win situation all the way around. The problem is getting solved, you build a sustainable career, morale stays high, and the company will do better because customers get more value. Griping builds a speedpass lane to the exit. It’s your choice.

 

Ralf

How to create action in people – a simple and effective recipe


How to create action in people – a simple and effective recipe 

Photo credit; Pablo by Buffer

There is a simple formula for creating action in people. It goes like this: Thoughts create feelings; feelings create action.

In our noisy world it is getting more and more difficult for people to pay attention to anything. This is true in business as it is in almost any social setting. Even our families are not safe from this phenomenon.

Here is your opportunity to increase your chances for people to hear your message and actually do something about it. Think about how you can use a compelling story to invoke strong thoughts in your listeners. The best is to wear your heart on your sleeve. Give of yourself to the audience, be vulnerable, show your imperfections, and share how you learned your lessons the hard way.

This sets the stage for folks to be able to relate to you. Emotions ensue. Do not forget your call to action. Perhaps that is the most important detail that often gets overlooked. Make sure to voice your expectations and actions to the audience.

Deliver on your promises and repeat this cycle time and again. It does take a little extra work in preparing for any thought invoking work. But the moment you have managed building a routine out of this principle, you will be able to make major changes for yourself and others.

Ralf

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: