Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the category “information sharing”

Circumstance does not matter – it matters what you are made of


Circumstance does not matter – it matters what you are made of 

Circumstance impacts our decision-making. It impacts our future. It can even impact who we are and what we are called to become. The quirky thing though is that circumstance does not carry that much weight. Much like boiling water will soften the potato will also harden the egg. It matters more what you are made of – not the circumstance.

At one time of my life I really thought that having endured living with alcoholic parents would forever typecast me. During my teen years I often thought that my life would take a course for the worse. With so much baggage how could other people ever see that I was not like my father? Sometimes I was tempted to use my troubled family’s past as an excuse for the mistakes I made.

Fortunately, due to the influence of my mom and grandparents, I learned that none of that mattered. What mattered was my choice in the moment. It is ALWAYS my choice how to react in any situation. There may not be a right or wrong, but there is always a better or worse choice.

So what are you made of? Circumstance will challenge you to the core. Will you take the time to step back from your instinctual reactions? That is what it is all about. It’s taking the time making a better choice. At least actively choose and don’t just react to whatever happens to you.

Ralf

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Do you like miracles? 2 ways initiating your own predictable miracles


Do you like miracles? 2 ways initiating your own predictable miracles 

Miracles occur when needs and solutions converge seemingly serendipitously. Convention says that miracles happen coincidentally. Is there such a thing as coincidence though? Most people just accept a matter as coincidence and do not think twice about it. Really smart folks dig a little deeper and follow up with the people involved. There are an increasing number of people who believe that it may even be possible creating circumstances leading to predictable miracles. Here are two ideas of how you can initiate them.

  1. In order to be able to creating a conduit for needs and solutions to emerge in front of you and still maintaining the element of coincidence (this is truly organic growth), you will first and foremost need to ponder what your purpose is. The moment you ask yourself this question, you will be on the path to a better and brighter future.
    Imagine what gives you energy and what you really want to be and do. Think about your future needs that will help pave the way to get there. Journal about this daily and reflect upon this list frequently. Develop a mental picture what the final result might look like in 9-12 months from now.
  2. Now comes the part that you need to feel comfortable with: Share this picture with acquaintances, friends, co-workers, family, etc. Do this freely. The more you think and talk about it, the more you think and solidify your own mental picture. You become intensely focused on what truly matters to you.
    Make a list of 9-18 people you look up to. Meet with these folks for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Do not ask for favors; ask for them to listen to you and to be candid with their feedback. Share your vision and mission, your purpose freely. Bring the future into the present by bringing it alive. Keep your journal up to date.

Now you have tilled the ground and sowed the seed of synchronicity – that is coincidence at its best. Because you know your intentions and you have shared them, people and opportunities will start crossing your path. This may not happen immediately, but in the long run this is a recipe that you can follow with almost guaranteed success.

What are you waiting for? Give it a go, you cannot lose here and how cool is it to create your own predictable miracles?

Ralf

Find out how to avoid letting people get to you


Find out how to avoid letting people get to you 

Photo credit: Childhood Relived

Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions. Easier said than done, right? The problem is actually not with the person you are having an issue with. It is your own thoughts that make your life miserable.

Friend Mary Lore @ManagingThought is a battle hardened thought leader on this subject. I am totally with her assertion that you are not your thoughts. A thought is only a thought and we can learn how to shape our thoughts so they work better for us. 

The process is surprisingly simple. If you are older then you may remember the Viewmaster kids toy that featured all sorts of discs with neat pictures on them. You inserted them into the main red body of the device. Then you pulled a lever to advance to the next picture while viewing them through the lenses while holding the whole thing facing a bright light source. The significance lies in likening the discs to your thoughts. When a thought does not work for you, take that mental disc out and put another one in that works better. This mental re-framing works really well. It rests on the premise that you actively choose whether or not you allow someone to have control over your thoughts and how you feel about this.

NO ONE has power over you – power is granted. When someone is making you mad or sad realize that they are not doing that, but you are. Next time you feel getting angry etc make sure to take a deep breath and take that bad mental Viewmaster disc right out and substitute it with one that works better for you.

Ralf

Getting away from micro managers – learn about the antidote


Getting away from micro managers – learn about the antidote 

Photo credit: Pablo by Buffer

There are five key elements to trust: They are sincerity, authenticity, competence, reliability and timely communication. Micro-management is very much at the opposite spectrum of these attributes. Micro managers have the hardest time with especially authenticity and sincerity. But trust is the omnipotent ingredient to leadership. Without trust there cannot be any leadership. Leading people is much more a process than a final result. Trust can only occur when a relationship has been slowly nurtured into existence by long term planning. “Trust is not deserved, it is earned” is what sales consultant and expert Jeffrey Gitomer wrote about trust in his book “Little Teal Book of Trust”. No manager can expect to be trusted just based on a title alone. On the other hand, the manager must trust learn trusting his employees first – only then his direct reports will show the propensity showing trust in a manager.

This process of learning to let go of control and therefore trusting the employee to do a great job takes time and most of all planning on the side of the manager. It is a recurring theme that runs through leadership like a fine red thread: If you want to see a change in others, you must first be willing to change yourself. This is especially true when a micro manager wants for his employees to achieve and learn new skills. It takes ample time to change people and first the manager must first make the commitment to learning just as much and to be patient with his people who probably need some time to achieve these goals. Impatience kills trust in an instant as does not trusting employees enough for placing them on a pro-active training and goal setting time table.

One certain way out of micro managing is to focus on becoming a master communicator. Mistrust leads to issues in the flow of information, because most managers with trust issues would rather keep the information to themselves and not delegate any work either. This is all poison to any organization. It takes a great sense of organizing skills for a manager to find a way out of the downward micro management spiral. Once the manager trusts himself enough to trust others weekly and perhaps even daily scheduled or impromptu meetings with staff helps breaking the mold. Organizing information should automatically trigger the thought of delegating as many day-to-day tasks to employees who either have the skill set or the responsibility to doing them anyway. This shows trust to the employee and can now reciprocate this with the manager who will be able to tend to more managerial tasks – imagine that, more time for organizing things.

Being able to lead people may be something that comes easy to some people. That does not mean average managers or even micro managers cannot improve because they were not born with these skills. Achieving the first step of trusting yourself is most important as it is the jumping board for being able to genuinely apologize for any bad decisions, which in turns provides the necessary feedback to the employees that it is ok to make mistakes. By not including team members in the cause and effect cycle, the managers will most likely promote long term distrust and thus disengage them from team and company goals. The reversal of this issue is just as easy: When making the mistake of not having involved the team in the process, apologize genuinely and timely. It will re-engage people almost in the short and long term.

Finally there is a solid case for developing a sense and company culture of trust. It comes down to the almighty financial rock bottom Dollar. In a recent Gallup poll the cost for lost productivity and employee disengagement has been around $300 billion in the United States of America alone.   Controlling people is all but impossible, but that is not true for controlling the cost and reviewing and managing the engagement and communication with them.

So the simplest way in which to create a trusting work environment is making a list of the worst traits of micro managers you know or experienced. Then start compiling strategies letting you do the opposite of that.

Ralf

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