Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the category “regrets”

Discover 1 way of looking at fighting with cancer


Discover 1 way of looking at fighting with cancer 

Yet another good friend of mine is fighting with a serious form of cancer. A co-worker’s mom lost her battle a few weeks ago. Why would you go on living? Life can be such a lemon. I am sure that any of you have similar issues to deal with. The outlook is outright bleak in terms of the odds getting cancer throughout your lifetime. What do you do when fate is handing you such a big lemon?

The question of quality of life will come up eventually. Friends and family will think about it. Whoever is affected by this terrible disease will think about it. Some might even openly discuss it. Why would you go on suffering? When is enough, enough? When will hope finally let you down?

Yes, there is a lot of suffering, but there is an awful lot of living too. It may be the blessing of the long good-bye, and then again you may end up getting cured. Let hope go last. In the meantime there are an awful lot of people who depend on you, they suffer and laugh with you, and they will look up to you.

Then consider all the things that are truly important to you. How much of the must-do list are checked off? How about that wedding or the grand child you wanted to greet upon arrival? Is that not worth living and suffering for?

The initial chaos of any bad diagnosis will soon give way to new routines and your new “normalcy”. That will also include humor and laughter.

Pick up a bag of sugar and start making lemonade of the lemons life puts in your way. You can only make a difference when you are here with us. That is the legacy that you can leave behind, which will be eternal. Here is to making it through another day.

Ralf

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Discover the toughest thing for entrepreneurs to let go of


Discover the toughest thing for entrepreneurs to let go of 

Photo credit: Pablo by Buffer

It comes down to adapting to change and letting go of what you knew worked best when you started up your company. I have observed in many a friendly business and even I have been resistant from time to time abandoning a success recipe. After all, that is what got you this far. Challenge is that a business has stages very similar to human life. When maturity hits and we need to hire more people and build up a lot of infrastructure it is tough letting go of the figment our imagination that we call control. We should be hiring people that are much smarter and better equipped than us. We should be delegating and letting middle management take over control over most if not all important parts of our businesses. The one thing that keeps us from moving on is fear.

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions we have. Take for instance the fear of loss. No one wants to lose anything that we have an emotional attachment to. That applies to things, relationships, feelings, etc. Very often we may not even necessarily know if what we are attached to is good for us. What if letting go is the best thing that could happen to us? In this particular case we are afraid to lose our business if we changed the tried and true original business model. Don’t take my word for it. Here is a link to a fabulous book by friend Craig Hughes “The Self-Driving Company: How Getting Out of the Way Enabled My Business to Thrive”. This is the book to read when your start up business is stalling, you have employee turn over issues, you find yourself totally exhausted because you feel like you have to do everything, etc.

A good analogy to being held back by your old beliefs and the things that you are intensely focused on is the way how some monkeys are being caught in Africa. Food or other similarly interest sparking materials are being placed in a space the monkey is surely going to notice. That is typical a hole dug into the ground or an existing cavity in rock formations. When the monkey reaches into the hole grabbing the “bait” his hand no longer fits through the opening of the cavity. The catcher now fast approaches the monkey with the intention to scare him. The monkey stays caught because he does not want to lose the precious things he is holding in his hand (Discover this in action). The more he panics, the tighter he holds on to the loot.

Isn’t that a little like our entrepreneurial situation? The tighter we hold on, the more we get stuck and we get caught. So here is my call to action: Whenever you feel you have run out of options and you do not want to lose what you are attached to, please let mentally go of this attachment. Watch how liberating a feeling it is to look AT your situation and not FROM the middle of it. Ponder if letting go of the old isn’t the best thing that you should do.

Ralf

 

If the broom fits, ride it, or how to avoid getting baited


If the broom fits, ride it, or how to avoid getting baited 

This is a close cousin of “if the shoe fits, wear it”. It’s a phrase related to people who cannot take personal criticism without taking it personally. All it usually takes is an off comment by a colleague at work, or a snide comment in a social setting. Boom and this person goes off. Sometimes directly at the person who made the comment and most of the time these folks use it to gossip. Here is something to consider:

If you complain and whine about it then there may be something to the comment and you need not complain about it because you just validated the point of the statement to be true or at least possible.

Avoiding this uneasy commentary can be difficult mostly because of one reason. This can happen when you start taking things too literally and seriously. In other words your ego is high-jacking your rational thought. Do not let this happen to you. Turn this saying around: If the broom does not fit, well, then don’t ride it! It is perfectly ok not to dignify criticism with a response. Give yourself some time to think about it and how you want to react to it.

Ralf

4 good reasons why you should embrace a good struggle


4 good reasons why you should embrace a good struggle 

Watching TV nowadays just makes me cringe: Most car commercials promote the latest models that take over more and more stuff drivers had to do. Now your buying decision is more related to whether or not you can live without your own Wifi hot spot. Tons of other ads deal with gizmos and contraptions that are supposed to make our lives easier and cheaper. Really? Soon we may not have enough gray matter and regular muscle tone left to face life if we do not face regular life challenges.

Only if we are stretched to struggle sometimes more or less do our minds and bodies stay nimble. We also feel good about ourselves when we survive difficult moments. I invite you to ponder whether you want an easy life, or one of significance? Do you believe in filling your life and house with stuff, or do revel in the relationships that you have formed with the people who mean the most to you? In many ways life is like a camping trip. Do you take a triple axle RV packed with all the comforts that will not let you miss “home”? Or do you want to experience nature and people at eye level, but that may come with a little discomfort and pain?

I recently read a fabulous book (Get more details about “The Adversity Advantage”) about blind mountaineer Erik Weihenmayer. He has climbed 7 of the world’s most difficult summits. Blind, you may ask? Yes, blind. There is probably very little that can top this level of adversity. Yet he did it. There are a few lessons that we can take away from his experiences.

  • How much suffering and pain do you have in your life? Compare that to the feat of not having your eyesight and yet hiking and climbing up to summits that even the most experienced folks may never be able to reach. Take inventory of your life. Is it really that bad?
  • We need to suffer a little (some more than others) in order to learn. We need to suffer a little in order to appreciate what we have. It is too late when we no longer have it.
  • It is all about how we suffer. Do you whitewash your pain? Do you blissfully ignore it? Do you wallow in suffering? Do you feel like every little issue is ruining your day turning into ballooning catastrophes? Do you escape by using / abusing alcohol, drugs, food, sex such that you numb your pain? Or do you grief and be angry for a little while, but then you see the blessing in the suffering that you have just gone through? How about all the opportunities that have just opened up for you?
  • Do you help people when you are doing well? We should, shouldn’t we? Do you help people when you are not doing well and you are struggling yourself? That is the ultimate summit you have the opportunity climbing: Significance comes from lifting up people during life’s lows.
    Blind mountain climber Erik organized a climb to one of the seven top summits with blind, physical handicapped, and folks with no “impairments” (when you manage climbing Mount Everest blind, are you really impaired?). This group set out to win as a team and managed to get there with 24 out of 27 people. While it was surely a personal victory of his, don’t you think that he has managed to change the life of the other 27 people forever?

Your suffering and adversity overcoming skills are like your muscles. It takes years to develop them but lack of use and abuse will shrink them and will end up living a weak life void of significance.

Ralf

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