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Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the category “self-confidence”

Using this Easter holiday to reflect and be grateful – plan your life using two great books


Using this Easter holiday to reflect and be grateful – plan your life using two great books 

Today’s post is about two books that will help you put your life in high gear. Use the Easter Holiday for some downtime and deep reflection.

The first book is by friend Alvin Brown. He is a personal trainer for top notch athletes who are determined to achieve excellence in whatever field they are in. 

Alvin wrote and released his first book “Journey to Personal Greatness: Mind, Body, & Soul: A Blueprint for Life Balance & Self-Mastery” (Discover more of the book here). It is based on his personal journey that took him and his family from Jamaica to Eastern Canada. His mom could make barely ends meet and he was living in the poorest conditions. Yet one decisive day he refused to live a mediocre life any more. He choose nothing but greatness and along the long way to success he managed to work himself up to where he is today: I consider him one of the most inspiring personal trainers and coaches I know.

I am glad that he took what he learned and placed it into a powerful book that invites you to also invite greatness into your life (that in itself is a sign of him being a great coach). Please make it a point to read his book – you will not regret it.

The second book is by friend May Lore. It is called Managing Thought. Stop letting people who do so little for you, control so much of your mind, feelings, and emotions. Easier said than done, right? The problem is actually not with the person you are having an issue with. It is your own thoughts that make your life miserable. 

Mary Lore @ManagingThought is a battle hardened thought leader on this subject. I am totally with her assertion that you are not your thoughts. A thought is only a thought and we can learn how to shape our thoughts so they work better for us.

The process is surprisingly simple. If you are older then you may remember the Viewmaster kids toy that featured all sorts of discs with neat pictures on them. You inserted them into the main red body of the device. Then you pulled a lever to advance to the next picture while viewing them through the lenses while holding the whole thing facing a bright light source. The significance lies in likening the discs to your thoughts. When a thought does not work for you, take that mental disc out and put another one in that works better. This mental re-framing works really well. It rests on the premise that you actively choose whether or not you allow someone to have control over your thoughts and how you feel about this.

NO ONE has power over you – power is granted. When someone is making you mad or sad realize that they are not doing that, but you are. Next time you feel getting angry etc make sure to take a deep breath and take that bad mental Viewmaster disc right out and substitute it with one that works better for you.

 

Ralf

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Which person impacted and changed your life forever?


Which person impacted and changed your life forever? 

Photo credit: Pablo by Buffer

Think of a person that has changed or impacted your life the most. This person saw something in you that he or she believed in you more than you did. His/ her encouragement led to a much enriched life journey for you.

Does this person know what kind of impact their belief had in you? My call to action is to get in touch with this person immediately. Let her/ him know how you feel and appreciate what he/she did.

Next, follow this train of thought and create a ripple effect. Give of yourself. Help out a person who struggles through life. If you want to read up on what that could look like, Jeff Goins’ book “Wrecked” could help set the stage for you.

My person is my best friend Holger who helped me through some great difficulty when I was 17 and enduring the hardship of apprenticeship. My mom and dad did not have problems with alcohol – they had problems without alcohol. They were alcoholics. The home life was a royal mess, and we did not even have money to buy heating oil for about two winters.

Girl friend? Hah, did not have the guts and the heart much less the energy getting entangled with more issues. I was bullied extensively during the first year of my job apprenticeship. Whenever I could I would drink heavily. Shame galore – living in a small village in Germany was not a walk in the park when you are being put into the same category as your dad. Dad is an idiot = son must be an idiot also. That was a simple equation that came with some “interesting” ramifications. Life was miserable.

One particularly bad night I had come back from a party with co-workers, drunk and depressed. I bumped into Holger at a block party and he saw the heap of a mess that was me. He listened and helped me get my bearing again. Day by day and thought-by-thought. We became lifelong friends, but as of late we can no longer stay in contact all that much as we live in totally different places. Thanks for all you did my friend during the darkest time of my life! Life improved soon thereafter once I realized that I was still in control of my thoughts. Thoughts are just thoughts – they are not me! Once I stopped my own pity party life improved beyond measure.

Do you know someone who picked you up from the floor and put you back on your feet? How about a teacher or coach? This special person may not even remember you. It does not matter. Make sure you tell him that you love him and that you appreciate everything that he did for you. Do it fast, because life can change with an blink of an eye*.

Ralf

*Thanks, Tom!

2 questions that help define your purpose and happiness in life


2 questions that help define your purpose and happiness in life 

Perhaps a little help from famous movie actors can help here. Some actors seem to really be able to nail a character right on. They are so believable that it is hard to imagine later that anyone else would have been able to play it so well. So how do they do this?

I have heard one actor mention that he gets into character best when he asks himself two open ended questions:

  • What is her/ his greatest hope?
  • What is her/ his greatest fear?

The answers really help define the person that they are supposed to play. Great follow up questions could be why the person is hoping or fearing anything.

Your hopes and fears define you more than you may think now. Give it a try and have paper and pencil handy.

  • What is your greatest hope?
  • What is your greatest fear?

Happiness lurks around the corner when you know now what you would like to pursue and what you would like to avoid. Knowing what you want to pursue is also linked to who you are and what your purpose in life is. Happy pondering!

Ralf

It is not the critic who counts – just do the stuff you are meant to do


It is not the critic who counts – just do the stuff you are meant to do 

Someone whom I consider to be a good friend just shared the following quote from Teddy Roosevelt with me.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

I read it once and made so much sense to me. I read it again right away as it pulled me right back in. I have tried homing in on the things that only I should be doing. I used to care a lot about what other people would say and I often tried appeasing them. It did not feel right not being all-inclusive with everyone. I had to learn a hard life lesson that I cannot always avoid folks not being happy with me. Do not misunderstand me here. I will always attempt first figuring out how I can make everyone better off with what I am doing. I will just no longer compromise on things when I know that there is a better possible outcome just because there are critics out there who will spend ample time pontificating about what could be done rather than starting to do something themselves. I am with President Roosevelt here. I would rather be the one whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. I need to be part of the solution and not the problem.

Are you with me?

Ralf

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