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Archive for the tag “candor”

When is enough enough?

When is enough enough? Ralf a

You get what you tolerate. That adage hits me straight in the forehead time and again. A close relative of candor is tolerance. It is not necessarily the polar opposite, but in fact it can be worse as tolerance comes close to ignorance. Tolerating a pattern of performance issues, incompetence, and a pattern of mistakes will only get you and the other party into trouble. At the home front it may be your significant other who just irks you with a few issues.

Yes, you will have to put some will power into being honest with yourself and then others. The benefits outweigh the disadvantages almost all the time. The moment you put it out there what you would like to see, people will naturally change on their own in order to help you. If the pattern still continues you now know that you must make tougher choices: Do you need to change yourself or is it time to abandon your current relationship? Thinking and acting upon your choices will bring peace of mind.

Take a typical example from work. You have a co-worker that annoys you with his / her loud telephone conversations. You could just leave it be, complain to others about this and finally just be miserable about it. On the other hand, you could choose to speak with the colleague and tell him / her how you feel and ask if he / she could possible do something about this. Catch the drift?

Here is a tip how to bring your issue up with others: First and foremost you need to have a plan what and how you wish change to occur. Why is a plan important? You need to keep the meeting with your other party as constructive and factual as possible. Confrontation is not the way to go as you pull feeling and emotion into the discussion, which can put everybody’s brain into flight or fight mode. That would not be good. Identify the issue and think about what would happen if nothing changes.
Write it down and share this thought with your counterpart during the meeting. Now think really hard about what the change looks like that you are asking about. Voice your desired outcome in the meeting.

Life is all about the choices you make. Choose speaking about this and affect a change even if it is hard at first to make the start. Otherwise you will get what you tolerate.


Find out how candor will reduce your stress level

Find out how candor will reduce your stress level Smaller FB

As a lifelong peace maker, I have had some interesting challenges over the years to speak my mind and letting others know how I really felt. Other words describing candor are unreserved, honest, or sincere. This is easier said then done. We do not want to hurt the feelings of others and not risk our status either. Think of how we combine so many cultures here in our country. You could offend someone so easily when you voice your beliefs. I venture saying that this has not made it easier to speak open about how you really feel. Sound familiar? It comes at a hefty cost though to not speak your mind: You mess with the predictability of how you are being perceived. It sets you up for a lot of stress because people will expect to get the same reactions the next time you interact with them. It feels unnatural and can lead to your burn-out.

It takes courage to openly say what you feel. There is no doubt about that. The unfortunate part is that you either pay the piper now or pay so much more later. No family is safe from this phenomenon. In fact that is the place where it is probably the worst as far as the long term effects are concerned. I had distant relatives around whom candor could mutually not be had, period. It felt so weird though because I thought that even their well wishes and “have a nice day” was not said and meant sincerely. Once that train leaves the station your interactions stay this icy every time from then on.

Do you live through some of this yourself? One of two things would happen though if someone would make a start voicing their discontentment or issues. For one you could potentially no longer speak to each other. Chances are that this is unlikely to happen. Most folks would probably be pretty happy about you having made the start and talked about the issue at hand. Even if the contact would break off, would this really be the worst case scenario? Probably not as you would finally be able to not feel bad every single minute any more now that you are no longer hanging out. The other thing that could happen is that the other party would be really glad that you brought it up. You have the opportunity to resolve the issue and actually be closer to the other folks than ever before.

Give candor a try and I wish you the courage to do so. Courage should come to you all but automatically when you reflect upon your choice of either continuing the misery of not being yourself around others or living congruent with your inner self.


Do you want your organization to turn into a customer and new employees magnet?

7 key strategies that can turn any organization from start-up to into a well known brand zyToG7EiE

Photo credit: www.clipartbest.com

Entrepreneurship and leadership are fun, but they also can be a huge challenge. How do you grow your business in a way that is long term sustainable whilst also rendering enough profits such that you can invest in your people and infrastructure? How do you do this without totally giving your own life up because you have to work exorbitant hours? How will your family see you again and how will you manage stress to a manageable level?

Chances are that you have asked yourself these questions over and over again. Regardless whether you are the key leader in a small business or are the CEO of a large corporation the questions are typically very similar. Fortunately, the answers are amazingly simple as well. Key question here is only how comfortable you are to commit yourself to opening your organization up to an open platform. The more you are ready to open up to true collaboration the greater the chance that you will soon enjoy your co-leaders and employees becoming your co-entrepreneurs.

What I am inferring here is that you have the opportunity developing your own brand that can become self-sustainable. This allows you to focus on planning the future development of your organization without you having to worry about that the day-to-day operation goes awry without you being there. It helps reducing your stress and that of everyone in your organization.

  1. Start with a quality product of service: Absolute important is having a quality product and/ or service to start with. Do not get this wrong and mixed up with clever or really unique. Excellent execution of what you have to offer to customers is essential in making sure that there is long term sustainability for your organization.
  2. Ego management: Skip this blog if you are not willing to let go of your ego. Long term sustainability can only happen when you as the leader are willing to not be the only one who speaks, directs, manages, generates ideas, etc. Egomaniacs make for miserable working conditions and no one needs another toxic work place.
  3. Safe working place: This is more than the physical safety at work. I am speaking about candor. Candor is the best antidote to your ego and that of others. Only when it is safe to speak about your company’s challenges will you get to the bottom of what your folks will need to fix.
  4. Communication management: Great conscious leaders make a huge commitment to open communication. Department meetings held regularly and also allowing for your managers meeting with their team members one on one regularly will provide ample information about where and how your organization and people need help. If you are really good, you will hold weekly company meetings where everybody can get a pulse of the organization and where their contributions make a difference.
  5. Collaboration heaven: Collaboration amongst your leadership team is just as important as allowing for this to happen with your customers and all of your employees. How else can you tap into the brain power and creativity of the people who do the front line work every day? Create a conduit and place where this information exchange can happen at strategic and tactical level, step back, and be ready to be amazed what your folks can help create.
  6. Servitude: This point of course assumes that you have made it beyond point 2. above. Really great leaders realize that they need to view their role as the one who serves the folks who work for them. That does not means that leaders must do the work of the people reporting to them. What is more important than anything else here is that the team members feel respected, are taking seriously, and that their contributions count. Helping develop your employees by helping them excel increases the trust in you and the company and makes for very loyal followers – team members and customers alike.
  7. Commitment management: First and foremost that is your commitment to invest all your efforts to make the changes happening that your team members helped develop. That fosters even more trust and ensures your organization making a lot of progress. Once your team knows that when they come together and help co-create their future with you and you deliver the commitment allowing for continual improvement to occur, you will enjoy success almost guaranteed.

This is not an easy road to travel and definitely not a fast one. It represents a cultural change and those typically take a few years to fully come around to full fruition. If you expect your people to change, make sure asking yourself first how you must change. Invite your team members – and I mean all of them – to help collaborate about if and how / what kind of changes need to be made in order to serve your organization’s purpose (your “why”). Then leave them be, check your ego at the front door and be ready to be amazed how many people step forward with the desire helping to achieve your growth goals.

Ralf Weiser

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