Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the tag “empathy”

1 important life tip for young folks


1 important life tip for young folks 

Photo credit: Pablo by Buffer.com

Please ponder the following request that is actually important for everyone: Make sure to enjoy life while it still is in a giving mode. First life gives, later it starts taking things away from you. When we are young there are so many gifts that are available to us. Skills, friends, education, career, health, etc., in fact there are countless examples of it. Then there is a time when life seems to start taking things away from us.

In the last couple of years quite a few great people were taken away from me due to cancer. Sure, there are still many new gifts that keep coming our way, but there are equally more people and other things important to us that are whisked away. Take health for instance (I need reading glasses now, how did this happen?) and it will not take all that long, at the rate of speed we are going, that the kids will eventually move on.

How about you? Where are you in this cycle? Is life giving you more than it takes? Hopefully so. Be really thankful if it does and do not waste any time making the best of the gifts presented to you. Also, growing older lets us take fewer risks – it’s the tool helping avoid things taking things away from you. Point of today’s post is to appreciate life to its fullest and to fill it with meaning. You never know if your life is the next thing that is about to disappear.

Ralf

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1 successful way how to let go of anger


1 successful way how to let go of anger 

A clenched fist cannot give, but it also cannot receive. Anger lurks in many corners of our days. Think of our commute. How many road rage incidents have you come across lately? How many times have people at work let you down or simply are after you? How many friends and perhaps even family member are trying their best to aggravate you to no end? Then there is the current divisive political climate, gun control discussion, world crisis, and so much more. Isn’t it hard to deal with the shear volume of issues crashing down on us sometimes? Do you catch yourself clenching your teeth and even your fists?

Ever wonder what this does to you long term? Hate begets more hate and hate makes you irritates. It escalates in variety and severity. The so called downward spiral can spin out of control easily. That is all because your heart, soul, and intellect have closed shop. You no longer have you hands or mind open to receive the rich gifts that life has prepared for us. Your fists are also not helping for you to give. With no contributions to others and a greater purpose you limit what you can receive from others.

Next time you get all tensed up ponder if you are ok with granting someone or something this kind of power over you. Because, that is what happens here; it all starts with anger. Hate and anger are the tangible manifestation of you handing over control of your destiny to others. How would you feel about that? If an angry thought does not work for you just throw it out. Take a breather and ponder what works better for you. Then act on this much better thought and your world is about to improve.

Ralf

12 things people say that lead to a busy and unfulfilling life


12 things people say that lead to a busy and unfulfilling life 

Busy is bad. If you do not believe that you are solidly on the way to oblivion. Busy may make us feel like we are moving ahead and we are making a difference. Problem is when we do not have enough quiet time to really ponder what we should be doing and who we should become, we can veer off course and therefore be heading toward a life and identity crisis. Up until recently I caught myself saying that I was too busy doing this and the other thing. I still hear it from other folks: “I am sorry, I would love to pursue something else, but I am too busy right now. I do not have enough time.” Well, it is not like they do not have time – they just do not make time for what they would and should be doing. Compare and contrast the following 12 things other people have said that did eventually lead to such life crisis moments.

  1. “I am too busy right now making a living; I cannot think about live right now.” Sadly I meet people every day who actually think that they can push off not stopping regularly to think, reflect, read, or otherwise reset your mind. Do you enjoy being constantly on the run, always plugged in, or always need feel you are “on”? To get ahead in life sometimes the best thing you can do is to stop running. Make time for your brain and body to reset and refocus.
  2. “If I do a little bit of both I can compromise splitting time between work and family.” Just because stuff fits into your tight schedule does not mean that you should do it. Work and family are in constant conflict and very often that mean that you try to go to work events and you may make it to a movie you want to watch with family. Problem is just that trying to make both events happening you are not really present in either interaction. Do not compromise. Choose one or the other and be fully in the moment and present. It is ok to choose family over work.
  3. “If it is the popular thing to do, I should do it too.” Let it be the next best thing on social media, new smart phones, checking e-mail and social media every other minute, the newest show on Netflix, etc you want to be just a popular and “in” as the next person. Meanwhile there is a quiet little voice in your head that is telling you that life could and should be different. You fight it though and you go with the flow and you are busy and on – 24/7. Well, listen to that voice and stop. You need to follow your road to full potential. Quit doing stuff just because it is popular. There is also a joy in missing out sometimes.
  4. “Everything is important.” Just flat out do it all. It is too difficult making a decision what takes priority. Come on, you can fit everything in – it is important. This does not work in math and it does not work out in life – ever. Why even try then? Pick your battles and prioritize the things that you want to get done and then delegate or outright say no to things that do not add value.
  5. “I am part of the team and I must say Yes and I do it with a smile.” Sure, you do not want to let down people and perhaps you like your boss and you do not want to let her down either. Result is that you work yourself into oblivion. Saying yes to everything though is a form of madness. You get what you tolerate. You will go postal eventually and there are always more tasks coming your way. Stop that avalanche though by starting to say “no”.
  6. “It is not enough to help people, I need to save them.” This is a really tough one. You listen to someone’s life story and you feel a lot of compassion. Something should be done. Something must be done. Why stop there? Heck, I can do this and step in and make this person’s problem go away completely. Challenge is that your time and resources are impacted and the person may be helped now, but it may not last. The person did not learn from your helping intervention and heads for the same mess again. Lesson learned here is to help, provide a blessing, but do not rob people of their problems. They can fix it just like you can.
  7. “If I said I would do it, then I have to do it.” Let me make this really short and simple for you: If you should not do it what you are doing, then you should not do it – no matter when, what, and how you said it. It is a waste of your potential.
  8. “I must finish this project. I will stay up late to get it done.” Ah, the martyr approach to life. You will hear about it the next day at work about how folks worked all hours of the night to get a project out the door. They look exhausted and tired. Hello? It is no weakness or laziness if you do not get the work done. There are some instances that warrant working extra, but you are literally killing yourself if you routinely work like this. Sleep is for high performers that are super productive when they are working on manageable tasks.
  9. “When things do not fit right I just make them fit.” When others say that it cannot be done, you feel like this is something you need to do just to prove them wrong. It may be fun to add such a personal challenge. It is stupid to constantly force this kind of a load on you and others. Cramming and manipulation leads to unwanted other results. Do not do it.
  10. “I HAVE to do this.” Ownership of a problem is one thing. Stubbornness and believing that you do not have choices is just stupid. You have to take a breath, eat, and sleep. Everything else is your choice.
  11. “More is better than less.” I can only say that I have never seen I headstone that read: “If I only could have had more time to stay at the office.” Would you like to be the first one to change that? Less is more in the vast majority of the cases you come across.
  12. “I have plenty of time to do the other things.” Oh yeah, really? Life holds no guarantees for anything or anyone. Life is tricky and there are so many instances where you just do not know if another day is coming around for you to enjoy. Make sure to pursue the significant things and give those a priority. Spend the time with people that mean the most to you. Make your life count.

As my friend and mentor Brett Blair always says: Busy is bad. I could not agree more with that. Busy is a mental sugar rush that usually will leave you feel empty after it is gone. Pursue significant instead of success. Pursue fulfillment over happiness. The word “no” is your friend so wield is wisely and more often. You can do it!

Ralf

Authentic leadership will help attain and retain our Millennial workforce – Discover how to get in front of the coming tsunami hitting our work places


Authentic leadership will help attain and retain our Millennial workforce – Discover how to get in front of the coming tsunami hitting our work places 

Aren’t you getting increasingly sick about the overused phrase authentic leadership? Sure, I have used it here and there too. It was not until I read a few posts online that extensively harped on it before I finally got confused what this really means. More importantly, how can you learn and be authentic?

Along with this phrase come a few more buzz words that are also non-descriptive. The leader ought to be authentic, she should provide contagious energy, she should be engaging the audience’s senses, she should be demonstrating vulnerability and perseverance, she should be exuding confidence, she should be personable, she should be believable, she should be a great listener, and have a load of charisma if at all possible.

Isn’t it hilarious how these adjectives are very descriptive and yet meaningless as they are not really all that exact? It is all subject to individual interpretation and yet every one of us kind of sort of knows what it is supposed to be about. It is hard to pick up on the underlying driver of being authentic and that is helping and serving others. Not so fast though, because first of all a leader must first manage to be heard in the first place.

In short all of the above describe a state of being. As such it proves the adage of all nonverbal communication driving more than half of what people see and ultimately what they HEAR. Roughly a third is your tone of voice and only a small amount of communication is through the actual words that you have chosen to convey your leadership.

It is something that one has to experience personally in order to really understand it and how to learn it and then practice it daily. So what we are talking about here is appealing to the senses of our counterparts: Tone of voice, demeanor, mannerisms, facial expression, gestures, choice of words, etc.

To demonstrate this I have picked two random videos of CEO’s; not just any CEO, but airline ones. Just about all airlines claim how they love their customers and employees and invite us to fly their friendly skies. How does Delta’s own Richard Anderson strike you (Click here for the video)? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HrZmgIaO7Hc Now compare this to Southwest president Colleen Barrett (Click here to watch her in action)? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BZw_TDCfek

Fascinating, isn’t it? When you unravel why Colleen is fairing so much better you may have noticed the traits that let her stand out:

  • She is totally focused on others and not herself.
  • She shows vulnerability by being moved by the contributions of her team members.
  • She makes the speech all about them and not herself.
  • She makes eye contact with her team members.
  • How many things can you point out?

Why is she so much more believableauthentic – than Richard? At the bottom line it shrinks down to one thing for me and I am hoping that I have stirred your snow globe a little with this again: It’s her servitude. How willing are you to serve others before yourself? Fascinating isn’t it? Leadership really has nothing to do with you at all.

She is going through great lengths making the event to be for her team members and not all about herself. That is so different with Richard. He sits in the middle of everyone’s attention and when you really listen to the customer conversation with him, even that sounds fake and forced.

Did I mention that this makes your more successful too? You have not heard about how greatly successful and admirable Delta Airlines is, right? There is a reason why they are where they are and why Southwest is such an admired and overall successful brand.

Surprising, isn’t it? Being an authentic leader boils down to serving others with your brain, heart, and soul; then it will become organic and long term sustainable. Parking your ego will be the first and most important step you can take. Don’t you like the simplicity of this concept?

Beware of Millennials looking for work places that provide a reason for them spending all of their time working there. The more you embrace the concept of progressively embracing authentic leadership (serving others before yourself), the greater the chance you will attain and retain this wonderfully talented workforce.

Ralf

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