Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the tag “forgiveness”

Which person impacted and changed your life forever?


Which person impacted and changed your life forever? 

Photo credit: Pablo by Buffer

Think of a person that has changed or impacted your life the most. This person saw something in you that he or she believed in you more than you did. His/ her encouragement led to a much enriched life journey for you.

Does this person know what kind of impact their belief had in you? My call to action is to get in touch with this person immediately. Let her/ him know how you feel and appreciate what he/she did.

Next, follow this train of thought and create a ripple effect. Give of yourself. Help out a person who struggles through life. If you want to read up on what that could look like, Jeff Goins’ book “Wrecked” could help set the stage for you.

My person is my best friend Holger who helped me through some great difficulty when I was 17 and enduring the hardship of apprenticeship. My mom and dad did not have problems with alcohol – they had problems without alcohol. They were alcoholics. The home life was a royal mess, and we did not even have money to buy heating oil for about two winters.

Girl friend? Hah, did not have the guts and the heart much less the energy getting entangled with more issues. I was bullied extensively during the first year of my job apprenticeship. Whenever I could I would drink heavily. Shame galore – living in a small village in Germany was not a walk in the park when you are being put into the same category as your dad. Dad is an idiot = son must be an idiot also. That was a simple equation that came with some “interesting” ramifications. Life was miserable.

One particularly bad night I had come back from a party with co-workers, drunk and depressed. I bumped into Holger at a block party and he saw the heap of a mess that was me. He listened and helped me get my bearing again. Day by day and thought-by-thought. We became lifelong friends, but as of late we can no longer stay in contact all that much as we live in totally different places. Thanks for all you did my friend during the darkest time of my life! Life improved soon thereafter once I realized that I was still in control of my thoughts. Thoughts are just thoughts – they are not me! Once I stopped my own pity party life improved beyond measure.

Do you know someone who picked you up from the floor and put you back on your feet? How about a teacher or coach? This special person may not even remember you. It does not matter. Make sure you tell him that you love him and that you appreciate everything that he did for you. Do it fast, because life can change with an blink of an eye*.

Ralf

*Thanks, Tom!

Learn what you need to deliver if you want to grow your company


Learn what you need to deliver if you want to grow your company 

One thing that I keep communicating at work is that our real product is TRUST – not some machines or services that leave our facility every day. Whatever the finished product is, customers expect great quality, pricing, delivery and service as a given. How else can you differentiate yourself then? It is your organization and how the customer can expect to experience your company as a trustworthy partner that will not jeopardize his job or his organization. He needs to get a quote on time just as well as a timely and accurately sent invoice. When problems arise there had better be a live person in product or customer support answering the phone.

Trust is based on delivering a pattern of predictable outcome at EVERY level of the organization. How do you generate trust? One key item is commitment management. Foster an environment that teaches your employees how to request, negotiate and communicate task requests. Are the conditions of satisfaction (who, when, what, how?) known and communicated well enough? Part of a request is the commitment of the performer to carry out the task and the commitment of the customer to provide the details that will lead to a satisfactory completion of the task. Important is the continuous and detailed communication process during this phase. This is true for internal and external customer-performer relationships. Repeat these few steps and you will spoil every customer because mastering this will propel you far over the average customer service experience in the industry. Even though we live in a service driven society, the average customer service experience leaves room for lots of improvement.

The concept of creating and building trust is simple. It is much tougher to deliver on it. Master it and you will become the industry leader by delivering convincingly to one customer at a time.

Ralf

Think twice about holding a grudge


Think twice about holding a grudge 

When someone irks you bad enough that it starts to affect your behavior, then you may just have to make the effort to forgive this person either in person, or you do this quietly in your head. Back in the fall of 1995 I woke up bathed in sweat and in horror realized who I had become: The exact opposite of my dad, just worse. How on Earth could I have allowed a person whom I had not seen in six years at that time, who also did not live on the same continent as me to direct my thinking and feelings? It was mind boggling to me and right there and then at the edge of the bed I reflected upon how this could have happened.

It dawned on me quickly that the underlying motivator was for me not to be like my dad. That had always been very tough as him and I look like twins to start with. Mannerisms and even speech pattern were very similar too. The bigger irk factor was however that he had been a long time alcoholic and growing up together with my sister in a household of him and mom being alcoholics had not been a walk in the park. Dad’s psych terror that got physical on a few occasions was as unpredictable as was the intensity. It got so bad that I helped my Mom with the divorce and later packing up Dad who left us with a bit of debt and later claimed personal bankruptcy such that he did not have to pay support to Mom. Topping this off was living in a small German community where we kids were labeled losers just because our dad had made some really bad choices. That is enough to make one bitter, right?

Well, that is where I went wrong. From the day Dad left our house to the above mentioned event, my primary thinking pattern was guided by the thought not to become like my father. What ended up happening was me doing things 180 degrees opposite of what I thought my dad would have done, but would this have been my own natural, sincere and genuine choice? I wanted my life back – as soon as possible. I sat up folded my hands, said a prayer and forgave my father for all the nonsense that had happened. A sense of relief flowed through me and the very next day I started to feel better about myself and the choices I made.

My case was probably a more severe case of this, but I implore you to think about the people that have hurt you in any way and how your thinking and actions may be altered forever in a non-sustainable way if you do not forgive them. That does not mean that you will turn out to be great friends again, but at least you can stay true to yourself and the folks that mean a lot to you get to experience a genuine you and not some other person.

Ralf

How to deal with really angry and nasty people


How to deal with really angry and nasty people 

Photo credit: Pablo by Buffer

When people get under your skin because they really loathe you and what you do, the best you can do here is to close your eyes, take a deep breath, say a prayer, and whole heartedly forgive them. They hate this even more, and you feel better. Much better.

Traffic, work, neighbors, family, school, and so many other places are rich with angry people. Those can drain you of all your energy and anything you do and even think about, can soon consume your thoughts and feelings. You can do something about this though. “All” it takes is engaging your power of choice: choose love and inclusion instead of hatred. This will free your mind and heart and all but automatically remove the power other people have over you.

Do you feel even ever so slightly brave? One more way to kick things up a notch is to openly approach the people who hate you. Manage to remain friendly, but have the candor of asking them what you can do to make things better. More often than not their anger only resides in their heads because their brains had had a monologue instead of an actual dialog with you.

When that happens their thoughts can spiral out of control. Their negativity is a purely homemade issue and you are only a cheap pawn in this blame game. Since you were never invited to a dialog you do not even know what their grudge may be all about. You could not do anything worse than engaging in a battle of words with them. You can however, engage them in an open fact finding mission in which you are going to try finding out what happened leading up to them getting upset.

Hatred is tiresome and draining. Most of all it is not long term sustainable without causing other issues. This can change overnight if you are willing to make the greatest change of all: Changing yourself. Choose love and forgiveness and the world and people will open up to you. And if they don’t do that love them anyway and move on. No one has power over you unless you permit that. So do not let such negative people rain on your parade.

Ralf

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