Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the tag “love”

Do you ever wonder if you do enough volunteering?


Do you ever wonder if you do enough volunteering? 

Photo credit: Ralf Weiser

Volunteering at its best makes everyone better off – especially if you do not expect anything back in return. It makes a positive difference for others, it makes you feel great, and it helps build a better and greater sense of community. Here are a few tell tale signs that could help you decide if you may be not spending enough time on it.

  • You find yourself spending time only on yourself and maybe only on and with your significant other.
  • Your house looks spic and span clean inside out and there is not one bit of clutter anywhere.
  • You find yourself at the bar or club almost every opportunity that presents itself.
  • Your friends and acquaintances have not changes in years.
  • Your social media posts mainly focus on minute-by-minute details of what happened to you during the day.
  • You look at your bank and credit card accounts and you notice that you only spent money on yourself.
  • At the end of the day you look back and you cannot recall having done one selfless thing for another human being.

Especially this Easter holiday is a vivid and humble reminder thinking of Jesus who above all gave everything for us. Please spend a little love, time, and money on your fellow man and woman – it does not take much making a huge difference in other people’s lives.

Ralf

One of the worst relationship busters – and it is not hatred


One of the worst relationship busters – and it is not hatred 

Photo credit: www.pablo.buffer.com

You would think that the opposite of love is hatred. That is not it. It is contempt and indifference. Think about how this applies in your romantic and also work related relationships. The reason why contempt is such an effective relationship buster is because it is a slow and deceptive process that is barely recognizable. Along the way you tolerate the little things that we may not like about the partner. When then one partner tries changing the other this can easily derail the mutual respect. You can easily get wrapped up in starting to pursue different interests spending less time together. Our newest electronic devices (and thus vices) may additionally tax the attention span we may have for each other. Finally we may start criticizing the partner more often and at greater intensity. Contempt takes over our thinking process. After a while we may start feeling more and more disconnected and indifference and emotional distance set it.

Should this happen to you there is a key question to ask when a heated discussion ensues and you are no longer sure if your relationship is salvageable: “Now that our journey seems to be coming to an end, can you please tell me at what time I veered off course and what it was that I should have done differently.” When you listen (that means you need to listen to understand and not to respond) think on your feet and listen for new and old revelations that you could change or do immediately. Whatever your partner tells you is the roadmap of your possible path together again. Then share your side of the story. You need to just make sure that that is what you wanted in the first place. Also, keep focusing on why you fell in love with your significant other in the first place. In nine of ten cases that person is still there.

Ralf

Violence is never the answer


Violence is never the answer Smaller FB

Be the type of person who leaves a mark, not a scar. So goes the quote of an unknown source. People who leave emotional and physical scars just don’t get it. Violence and aggression lead to nothing but dead ends and just begets more negativity and violence. This past week is just a case in point. Love, trust, collaboration, empathy, and compassion breed creativity and inspiration. Either direction will leave an imprint in your memory for a long time, but only the positive one will be inspiring and long term sustainable.

Positive non-violent people leave a mark that will stay with us forever because they lift us up. Scars are just a vivid reminder of bad experiences and what not to do in the future.

Which one do you like better? How can you leave more positive mark with people? The most effective difference we can make is with ourselves – let’s not wait for others to go first.

Ralf

Ever wonder what your life’s mission is – never, ever give up


Ever wonder what your life’s mission is – never, ever give up pablo-3

Photo credit: Pablo.com

Have you ever had a traumatic event in your life where the time all of a sudden stands still, everything and everybody moves in slow motion, your brain keeps throbbing, you hear a whooshing sound in the back ground and you just cannot believe what is happening? Yet it is happening and you cannot stop it. It is not a dream that you can wake up from and forget about it soon. You must persevere anyway though and somehow cope with it. One key thing to do is to stay rational and reasonable as possible. This is closely followed by trying to get time behind you such that a new reality can set in quickly. Reflecting upon what happened and how it happened is just as important as is picking up your head and looking around to see how other people coped with their crisis situations.

Just recently one of those events happened to me again and it reminded me of the time when my alcoholic parents were quite under the influence on night quite a long time ago. I was 18 years old and my 3 years younger sister had been listening to their fighting when things really turned for the worse. My dad got so verbally abusive that my mom could not stand it any longer and she just left the house. It was 10pm at night in the middle of the winter season and she was not wearing a jacket. Remember what I said above about the swooshing sound? Well, I could barely hear anything else. My sister and I were in complete panic mode. I got so mad at my dad that I demanded his car keys such that my sister and I could use his car to start looking for our mother. He was so blitzed that he unfortunately never recalled what I said to him that night, but talk about being scared about the well-being of our mom. After 2 hours of a unsuccessful search we finally called it quits for the night. Just as we settled in our mom appeared out of nowhere and it turned out that she had stuck around in the neighborhood just to hide in our boiler room of our house. We had no choice but to let things progress from there. Eventually, I helped mom divorce dad and even though he left us with a lot of debt, we persevered and are nowadays the better for it as the lessons we learned prepared us for more difficult things life tossed in our way.

While this surely was not a highlight of my life and this made us feel really bad at the time, in hindsight and comparison I have to admit, this is all but a small speck on the wall. I was blessed to meet John O’Leary. Here is this fabulous gentleman who as a kid literally playing with fire ended up blowing himself up with a gas can full of gasoline. He burned so badly that he lost fingers and over 90% of his body was burned. He was not expected to live. It was the perseverance of his family, his care takers, the one baseball celebrity and John himself that pulled him through this. He is now a well sought after motivational speaker. He totally changed my outlook on life in so far as asking yourself one key question every day of your life: What more can I do? Go ahead; please look at some of his videos. That is an amazing story of perseverance and universal love.

Compare the two stories. While both were truly traumatic, John’s story can hardly be topped in terms of the gravity of the situation. This is not about winner/ loser thinking or who had it tougher or easier. It is truly about one thing only: Perseverance. It is the essence of our human spirit. Never give up and always ask yourself what more you can do.

Ralf

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