Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Archive for the tag “motivation”

7 questions to ask yourself getting out of crisis mode


7 questions to ask yourself getting out of crisis mode 

Crisis is the catalyst of purpose. Nothing flushes out what your real priorities and values are until you are in crisis mode – and that is the ironic thing about it: crisis helps bring about change and your purpose.

The most important thing you can do for yourself when you are under duress is to open your mind, heart, and will for your purpose to develop in front of your eyes. Instead of dreading stressful challenges coming your way, embrace them instead. Journal about what happened and how you dealt with it. If need be, the best practice is to momentarily retreat from the turbulent action. Regroup and allow planning time. The fewer thoughts you have the better, because they are of a better quality.

Ponder this list of questions and really listen to your inner voice replying to them.

  • What elements really spoke to me?
  • What gave me energy?
  • What drained me of energy?
  • What were the things I learned from the experience?
  • Was there a moment when I stopped the process and changed course? Why? What worked here? What didn’t?
  • Who were my allies?

True moments of clarity do not come along easily. They either take tremendous planning and self-directed effort, or they occur during crisis. One way or the other, make good use of the opportunities that come your way. Never accept average when you could reach your full potential – we are blessed with so much of it, so don’t waste it.

Ralf

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9 items that help define what success means to you


9 items that help define what success means to you 

Success. There are so many questionable definitions and ideals about it bombarding us every day from early childhood on. Very often it is being portrayed as something that has to do only with status, number and type of friends, vacations, appearance, money, happiness, education, family size, heritage, size of home, expensive hobbies, type and number of cars, etc. The more, the better. Right? Well, perhaps.

Good news is that each one of us can and should define success on an individual basis. Tough part of this is deciding what success means to you. Here are 9 ways of looking at it and I invite you to ponder this list in peace and quiet. Yes, this means that you will need to spend some time to do this, but it allows for you getting closer to living on purpose – your specific purpose.

Ponder the following 9 questions. Reflect upon which one(s) light you up the most. How is your current life aligned with your answer? You are getting closer to defining your purpose.

  • The Mind: When you are done here on Earth do you want for more truth, knowledge and wisdom to exist because you were here? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the mind.
  • The Body: When you are done here on Earth do you want there to be more fitness, wholeness, a better way to feed and clothe the hungry and poor? Do you want to build the strength and vitality of the body? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the body.
  • The Senses: When you are done here on Earth do you want there to be more beauty? Do you want to create something for all the senses to enjoy a sense of beauty and sustainability? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the senses.
  • The Will and Conscience: When you are done here on Earth do you want here to be more justice, morality, honesty, righteousness? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the will and your conscience.
  • The Spirit: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be more spirituality, compassion, empathy, wholeness of family, forgiveness, and faith in the world? How about a better and deeper connection with God? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the spirit.
  • Entertainment: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be more laughter, joy, perspective, lightening of people’s hearts and spirit? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of entertainment.
  • Possessions: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be a better way of sustaining ourselves here, a better handling of our possessions, a clearer picture of what is enough versus more is better? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of possessions.
  • The Earth: When you are done here on Earth do you want for there to be a more sustainable way to live on our planet, more exploration (not exploitation) of our Earth and Universe? Do you want to find a better way to deal with finding future sources of energy, clean water, clean air, land for everyone to enjoy? Your purpose is aligned with the realm of the Earth.

Which topic excites you the most? How does your heart, mind, and instinct respond to each point? What challenge within that topic would you want to tackle? Which invokes the most passionate response within you? Which one are you drawn to the most?

I leave you with my favorite poem trying to define success:

What is success?

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics

and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by

a healthy child, a garden patch

or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed

easier because you have lived;

This is to have succeeded.

Bessie Anderson Stanley (traditionally attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson)

Remember that the simple things in life are typically the best, and they are the toughest to discern as they typically reside right before our eyes and we can often not see them. Happy pondering!

If you want to explore this further there is a terrific resource for that in the book “What color is your parachute?” by Richard N Bolles.

Ralf

5 reasons why making New Year resolutions do not work and 3 strategies making them stick


5 reasons why making New Year resolutions do not work and 3 strategies making them stick 

How can you tell that it is resolution time at the beginning of a new year? Very simple: The ads for weight loss and smoke quitting programs just cranked up and are off the hook on TV. Sure, it makes sense because the end of a year lets you reflect upon the year that has passed and you ponder what you should do with the upcoming year. Before you know it you think about a resolution and come January 1st you start with it.

Problem is that they typically do not work in the long run. The vast majority of folks barely make it through a week or two before they light up another cigarette again, or they end up gaining weight and quit regular exercising. It happened to me, and I am certain it has happened to you as well. In fact I no longer believe in making New Year resolutions (mind you that is different from goal setting). Here are a handful of reasons why they do not work in the long run:

  • It is not organic. So you wait around for the end of the year to roll around and then all of a sudden you come up with a completely new pattern you want to establish overnight. Good luck with that. Most changes in culture take time – a lot of time and certainly more than the weeks or months you have dedicated to reach your short term goal.
  • Guilt is not a good motivator. Most resolutions are based on “guilting” you into staying on course while you are implementing your new behavioral pattern. What happens when you are sick and tired getting stressed out about your personal guilt trip? It’s stress and neither body nor soul like that stress.
  • Peer pressure isn’t powerful enough. You put yourself out on Facebook and perhaps you are brave enough to fess up to your family and friends what you promised you would do to get to your desired goal. So what? Most family, friends, and even co-workers are too polite to ever say a word to you. What is the point then? I do stand corrected with one measure that I have recently come along. Having an accountability partner has been fun and may prove to be the only worthwhile peer pressure tool though.
  • It does not deal with the triggers. Your patterns and habits all have certain triggers why and when you do things. You do not deal with the triggers and of course you will go down the old comfy ways – it’s like you are going down a beaten path with the know reward at the end.
  • Rarely is there a plan for what comes after reaching your goals. If you are part of the group of people who are successful at sticking to their resolutions and reach their goal, you may end up running through open barn doors. Meaning, that without the pressure and end goal on your mind, your mind will most likely fall into the same habits again eventually as the triggers and rewards will still be around and you just blindly follow them again. Ouch!

Sound familiar? If it does, there is a different way of dealing with changing your bad habits. How do habits, good, bad, or indifferent work? You need three key elements:

  1. Trigger: Habits have a trigger that is so engrained into your brain that it initiates a certain behavior / action anytime that it comes along. Keep a log of what is leading up to a habit that you want to change. Raise your own awareness about what happens and when. Do not worry that it happens; make sure that you know when the triggers come your way.
  2. Action: Any trigger sets off a certain behavior that follows it. This is the behavior that you want to make a lasting change to. Log your behavior again and keep this in the back of your head for the time being.
  3. Reward: Any action has a reward. This is why addicts become addicts. The reward can be so powerful and all but intoxicating you with positive endorphins. This is a drug like substance your body produces and it provides you with a sense of intense well-being – even if the activity is super bad for you.

Now you have 3 key areas where you can make a lasting change. Amend any of the three and you will get to have different results. Instead of telling your brain constantly what you do not want to do, you tell it what you should be doing in order to get a reward. Now you need to define what the reward is. That is the tougher part as you want to come up with something that is fun, or exciting as the bad stuff you want to get rid of.

Do not get me wrong, I am not telling you to not make resolutions. If it works for you, great. Go for it! It has not worked for me. I am asking all the others of you to make sure that you do this with the right reasons and end in mind. Overall I still think that resolutions are the telex and telefax of yesteryear and even e-mail is too slow anymore. Dinosaurs. They are also not around anymore. Take a look at your old dinosaur behavior patterns and think about how you can alter trigger, action, or reward in your favor.

And when you fall off the wagon, do not worry. We are all humans and stuff happens. We will love you the way you are anyway.

Ralf

How to take control of your life


How to take control of your life  

Photo: Chef Marcus Lepke decided to become the boss of his life’s kitchen

Your life is pretty much the equivalent to a restaurant. All you need are recipes and you can become the cook in the kitchen. How do you become great at it? Top priority is that you need to be ready investing in your self-awareness first and foremost. It drives two essential elements: the recipe and the differentiation between chef and guest.

We humans develop and follow patterns all the time. They are more important than we realize. For instance, how do you know how to behave when you go to the airport and trying to queue up for going through the security check up? You follow patterns. Next time you fly try paying attention why you find your way and just “know” what to do.

These patterns are like cooking recipes. You gather up the ingredients and you can create predictable outcome by following the rest of the recipe. Just about anyone can follow them and crank out at least reasonable results. How good the final product turns out merely depends on the cook’s experience and his desire of achieving true mastery of it.

Before you start “cooking”, you need to decide which role you want to play when it comes to your life’s journey – your restaurant. Do you want to be the guest and take a more passive role? Or do you want to go into the back and pick up the role of the chef? Either way, take an active role in choosing this role carefully.

Only the chef can truly make the difference at your restaurant. Realize, much like the chef must make many choices before turning even as little as a range’s knob. Who will be the target audience? Will it be fast food, or a gourmet dinner place? What legacy do you want to leave? Do you want churn and burn with customers, vendors, and your employees, or would you want to choose a more sustainable leadership style?

That is the salt in the soup here (pun intended). What I mean is that the preparation takes the brunt of the time of the whole cooking experience. The better and more extensive this planning session goes, the greater the chance that the endeavor will be successful.

Sometimes it is not bad to be the passive guest in your own kitchen. Realize though that you do not have the abundance of choices that you have as the chef. The more you want to strive for success, significance, happiness, freedom, fulfillment, etc., the more you will need to show up for kitchen duty and cranking up the stove to high heat. That will also reflect on the quality of relationships in your social and business lives. Guten Appetit!

Ralf

 

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