Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, enjoy, start being – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

“He talks too much” – Oops, I did it again

“He talks too much” – Oops, I did it again 


Photo credit: Ralf Weiser

In recent conversations at home and at work this sentence has popped up way too many times to go unnoticed. Let it be meetings, interviews, or just social conversations and folks provide the commentary that the one or the other person just talks too much. Being verbose myself this struck me like a bolt of lightning. Is there such a thing as talking too much?

Of course there is you might say, but when do we cross the line? There are a few interesting observations that I am hoping may jog your brain as well:

  • The magic 2 minute rule: When someone asks you a question make sure you pay more attention how much time you are taking in answering. Typically (no exact science here), between 45 seconds and 2 minutes are a great time frame for you to respond.
  • Staying on topic: How do you like when you ask someone a question and the answer has nothing to do with it? No fun, right? Staying on topic is really super important, or otherwise you will be tuned out completely.
  • Take a breathing break: Once someone interacts with you and asks you a question, please take a breath before you respond. For one this is a lot healthier and will allow your brain to slow down and therefore not letting your lizard brain (fight, flight, flee) to go over the edge with you. The more important reason is allowing for your counterpart to literally feel that you are taking them seriously. Best is asking qualifying question so your counterpart gets to know you really want to understand core of the issue.
  • Talking is Silver, asking questions is Gold: You need to converse with other people. Doing this well typically means you will do well in social and work settings. The best thing to do though in positively engaging others so the both of you benefit from it is asking questions. If you know your stuff is great, but what if other people whom you may not know well know more, or even more interesting stuff than you? The only way finding out is asking intelligent questions.
  • Look for obvious clues: There are very obvious clues when people start tuning you out and perhaps are looking for a way ending a conversation that is taking too long. I have heard of some people who actually text others asking them to get called by them such that their conversation with someone talking too much can come to an end. Seriously, when people start looking at their watch, phone, feet, sky, and stop looking you in the eye you should realize that the conversation you are in needs a change – or end. Also, the person will stop facing you and stand at an angle. Take the hint and let the other person speak for a change.
  • When asked for the time, don’t tell them how to build the clock: Discerning what kind of question you have been asked is another really rare skill very few of us possess. When someone only needs a quick answer, just don’t hog his time by going back to Creation of the Universe. Easier said than done, but you should try doing this no matter what.
  • Sending clues yourself: One of the most efficient ways to stop people from hogging your time because they want to chat with you is wearing headphones – the ones with the visible big mic that you can place in front of your mouth. The bigger the set, the better. This sends out the signal that you are busy and do not want to be disturbed.

When someone I knew well and really liked a lot made a point of picking a different route just to avoid having to speak with me I had to take inventory of my own behavior. I had to admit that I needed to make a change as well. In fact, blogging has made a huge change for me. Instead of hogging up people’s time, I can type up what I am thinking about and share it with everyone online. The beauty is that people can now tune either in or out at their leisure. This has made for a lot shorter conversations these days and I do not engage in longer conversations much unless the other person is specifically asking for more background information.

We have 5 senses helping to receive information and we use 1 feature the most to distribute info: Our mouths! How ironic is that? Perhaps this is a clue trying to tell us something?


The top number 1 reason why people and companies fail

The top number 1 reason why people and companies fail Puzzled

The road to success does not have an intersection with the path of least resistance or the off ramp of what is popular. Yet, so many take the sugar rush of a quick fix. In the end they have made it so much tougher reaching a sustainable goal and therefore long lasting success.

Most enterprises will go out of their way generating profit at the end of each month in order to look good to their share and stake holders. In fact, whole goal and strategy sessions are designed on the simple premise to stay in the positive numbers.

The kicker is that the “easier” we make things the more complacency sets in, the greater the number of hidden agendas and blind spots there will be. The easier we try making it less we have to stretch and think out of the box. For instance, when we make financial success a goal – the goal – in itself watch what will happen. More promising but less popular and more costly solutions will not be thought of, or if they exist they will never be implemented. This all comes down to merely keeping it to the status quo and thus no longer allowing innovation and risk taking to occur. It is the opposite of what entrepreneurs would want to normally do and be like.

In the case of financial goals they should never be a goal by themselves, but rather the report card (measurement) as to how well everyone did. Do not get me wrong here. Of course there needs to be proper and prudent financial planning in any endeavor, but never ever take the quick route and use this tool in place of a solid vision, mission, and other goals that should describe your future way of being and doing.

Think of how little motivation can be derived of financial goals. That is so much different when you have you and your teams working solid goals that are inspiring because they involve curiosity, courage, risk, venturing into unknown territory, etc. Ultimately that is a lot of fun along the way because it fulfills a mission greater than the sum of all people and parts. So, do you want easy or long lasting success that ultimately leads to significance? Most of the times it may be less popular staying on a tough road, but that’s where you’ll find me. See you there.


The biggest mistake sales people make

The biggest mistake sales people make cup

Don’t miss the link at the end of the post – it’s a game changer.

The vast majority of sales folks still think that “cold” calls on new prospects is a necessary evil – it just comes with the territory of being a professional sales person. Wrong! That is absolutely incorrect unless you are part of a meat grinder called “call center” where your job consists of pestering unsuspecting professionals at work, or families at home during dinner. There is no such thing as a cold call unless you want to go in cold.

If you read or follow Jeffrey Gitomer you probably know about his philosophy of you creating so much value to existing customers in a way that you earn referrals and recommendations. To him there should not be anything like a cold call perios. He abhors this concept altogether and often asserts that that practice is only for mediocre sales folks. How does one get enough prospects and then customers in the first place though?

This is where I believe the answer lies in calling prospects in a qualified manner such that you no longer go in stone cold. Preparation is everything:

  • Value preposition: Know what it is and how your prospects may benefit from it. Prior to taking off on any call do your homework. Do not go on ANY call, if you cannot figure out how you and your products/ services can be used and thus provide a significant value to your prospect.
  • Timing: Some customers have a better time to call on them than others. Take entrepreneurs for instance. Better time for most is after hours. They work hard and typically do their best work when they are alone and without interruptions. Calling them during the middle of the work day may not be the smartest thing to do.
  • Existing customers: When you go to existing customers speak with especially the front desk folks and any other “gate keepers”. Be genuine in treating them nicely when you try to get information about the people who work there and if and how you may be able to provide value to them. They will ultimately lead to other people and businesses. The next call will not be cold!
  • New prospects: Turn any call – even the ones that at first were not successful in securing an order – into a future asset for you. You are doing business with people and not businesses. That means every person you meet has the potential for you getting to know other people and perhaps even the prospects competitors you should be speaking with. Referrals and recommendations are fairly easy to get once you learn how to treat everyone with the same importance. It’s your mindset that makes the difference.

Why am I writing about this? I am so fascinated how many ice cold cold calls I receive. No preparation on the caller’s part – none. My least favorite are folks who call to ask me what it is I and our company does. Say what? Unless you are a friend or a customer I should not have to tell you that at this time and age anymore. The Internet is so jam packed with information about companies and people that this should not be an issue anymore.

Be proud being a sales person and turn ANY call into something that provides value and you will never have to worry about making quota. Do you want to read up on this? Check out Chuck Piola’s “Going in Cold – How to Turn in Strangers Into Clients and Getting Rich Doing it


Post Navigation


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 808 other followers

%d bloggers like this: