Ralf Weiser's Blog – Shake Up Your Snow Globe! ©

Stop doing, shake your globe, ponder, dream, start reaching your full potential – live on purpose and do it with a smile!

Free and independent thought – How not get baited by our lizard brain


Free and independent thought – How not get baited by our lizard brain IMAG0128

Photo credit: Ralf Weiser (tunnel vision)

It is all but impossible to escape the divisive political hubbub wherever you go and wherever you look. What am I to believe? So much of it is outright pushed on to us with a social media ferocity unlike anything anyone has ever experienced. It gets delivered spoon ready for our consumption. It is overwhelming to say the least.

It has become more important to be first rather than correct in delivering content. Where does the truth lie – and that is Truth spelled with a capital T? There is your truth and mine. Well, this is very much related to how we look at it and the Truth lies somewhere between us two. Truth with a capital T does exist. Can anyone even perceive what it is without automatically skewing it looking from a personal viewpoint? Typically, it can never possibly be one single thing as we can only look at it from our personal vantage point depending where we are on our life’s journeys.

In a world of all shades of gray, it looks so comforting that there is a prospect of paving the way for the polar opposite black and white approach.   Polarization of different view points is ironically so attractive to us as we want to know where people stand. Why? Simply put because we are very primal beings that way. Our lizard brain helped us survive in a very dangerous world. Fight, freeze or flight were the three primary modes we used to survive. Recognizing the things that could hurt of kill us dominated our thinking mode and that made it necessary to figure out which things and beings we could trust and which ones we could not. It is this desire to look for patterns of predictable patterns that our brains want to obtain the trust from that no bad things will happen. Bottom line is that the simple decision making criterion is deciding what is either safe or unsafe.

That is the dynamic that drives us toward polarization of matters. It is much easier – or so it seems – to derive predictability from the polar opposite extremes. If you are too close to the middle it could go either way which may be the better thing to do, but it is too unpredictable. Most of all it takes time to discern what the issue is in the first place. In a time of severe political divisiveness this is fertile ground for not making the effort digging a little deeper. It is easier to just go with what seems right. You do not want to lose either as you look for possible threats. Thus you choose the predictable outcome and the comfort of the safety blanket that this thought pattern invokes. It usually puts you into a one way path of stagnant personal growth. Avoid a tunnel vision approach to finding the Truth (see photo).

With some exceptions there are very few items in our lives that are universally bad or good. So how do we dare to claim that we are objective but are unwilling to accept that between two viewpoints the truth lies somewhere as a third delta point somewhere as an outlier between the two?

The only anti-dote to getting baited by your good old lizard brain is free independent thought – no matter which political belief you follow. Spend the time and effort obtaining news and vital decision-making information from a broad spectrum of sources. Do to not be baited by polarization through one the same sources; resist becoming a pawn in a game not fitting where your life’s journey should be taking you. Such a waste of human potential would be just additional insult to injury.

Ralf

5 farewell survival methods


5 farewell survival methods 16708522_1875406716036945_6821445900450343454_n

Photo credit: Kathryn Weiser

Visiting friends and family whom you may not have seen for quite a while is great. Best is when you get some time to spend with them, but one thing waits for you at the end: The farewell. Visiting my sister recently – with whom I am really close to – let me ponder this dilemma while saying yet another tearful “Auf Wiedersehen”. Much like anything in our human existence, there are a few mental approaches to parting ways with people who mean a lot to you.

  • The Band-Aid approach: What I mean by this is to approach it like ripping a Band-Aid off your skin so it hurts only once (I might add that I have always found this to hurt more, but it does not take as long). Keep it short and sweet and do not extend the time you have together too long. A quick heartfelt hug and off you go.
  • Extend your togetherness to the fullest: Drawing it out some more and perhaps having a meal together or hanging out at the coffee bar at the airport for a little while longer can sometimes get you slowly prepared for what is to come. This may allow for you exchanging some more ideas and memories and this may let you both feel a little better as you leave.
  • Follow up: Good news is that this is the 21st Century and we can follow up with our loved ones as soon as you leave. Whether you are driving or flying, you can be connected 24/7 and thus tell your loved ones where you are and that you are ok and thinking of them.
  • Staying in touch: This has never been this easy staying in touch. You name it and we have it. Just think of our smart phones, Skype, NetMeeting, Chats, Texting, Instagram, Tweets, Facebook, Glympse (this is a really great App), WhatsApp, Snapchat, etc. Physically you may be separated, but once you are tricked out with all possible electronic means you are never really that far apart. A really nice old fashioned caveat to this is leaving a card or note behind that you hid somewhere for your close ones to find when you are gone. It is my favorite.
  • Coming back: One thing to always keep thinking about is the fact that you could and should always come back to see your folks again sometime soon. What is nicer than to come back and spend more time face-to-face together?

No matter how sad you may be right now if you need to say goodbye to someone soon. Please rest assure that there are some ways of coping with this situation and I am hoping the 5 small ideas above may be of some help to you. Good luck and perhaps you have a few ideas of your own that you may want to share with the other followers?

Ralf

Don’t get mad at your enemies – forgive and love them anyway, they hate that


Don’t get mad at your enemies – forgive and love them anyway, they hate that IMAG0020 (2)

Photo credit: Ralf Weiser

There is barely a day when people openly attack you on FB, they “unfriend” you, or they otherwise hide behind their social media keyboards to somehow lash out at you. When people get under your skin because they really loathe you and what you do, the best you can do here is to close your eyes, say a prayer, and whole heartedly forgive them. They hate this even more, and you feel better.

Traffic, work, neighbors, family, school, and so many other places are rich with friends, and also really nasty people. This kind of nastiness can drain you of all your energy and anything you do and even think about, can soon be consume your thoughts and feelings. “All” it takes is engaging your power of choice: choose love and inclusion instead of hatred. This will free your spirit and all but automatically remove the power other people have over you. They do not have power over you without your permission anyway.

Feel brave? One more way to kick things up a notch is to approach the people who hate you openly. Manage to remain friendly, but have the candor of asking them what you can do to make things better. More often than not their anger only resides in their heads because their brains had had a monologue instead of an actual dialog with you.

When that happens their thoughts can spiral out of control and the negativity – sometimes all of it – is a purely homemade issue and you are only a cheap pawn in this blame game. Worse yet, since you were never invited to a dialog you do not even know what their grudge may be all about. That is something you can do something about by opening up and approaching them. Disagreement in itself is not negative. We are all different and that is why we should have different points of view from time to time. All we need to find is a better way to have an open dialog. Only when we find a way to have this will be able to make progress towards something new and better.

Hatred is tiresome and draining. Most of all it is not long term sustainable without causing other issues. This can change overnight if you are willing to make the greatest change of all: Changing yourself. Choose love and forgiveness and the world and people will open up to you.

Ralf

11 ways how to be a fountain and not a drain


11 ways how to be a fountain and not a drain fountain

Photo credit: Wikipedia link El Alamein Memorial Fountain in Sydney, New South Wales

It is so much easier to be a drain than to be a fountain. Of course that is not a literal reference, but it is a great analogy. When we are at our best we are a fountain of love, inspiration, empathy, compassion, creativity, and so many other positive attributes. Fountains symbolize refreshment, nourishment, and providing water as a life spending human resource. Fountains therefore help sustain life. They also represent beauty and many say they even are a source of good luck.

However, many, many people allow themselves becoming a drain to themselves and others. Just take some time at the airport, in traffic, and even at the grocery store and observe the sometimes really nasty interactions between total strangers. Ultimately, these folks are energy sinks – a drain of immense power. How about trouble with your spouse or your boss? That hits in the gut and heart, doesn’t it? You can literally feel the energy leaving your body and soul when you are close nasty people like this.

Ultimately though is your choice. Only you can choose to either take a positive route or the negative. Here a few ways how you can be that fountain to others:

  • Choose your attitude: Every morning and moment brings along a new choice for you to make. You can either choose to be miserable, or you can choose to smile and be full of joy. No, I am not saying you should fake this. No matter how miserable you think you have it, rest assure there are plenty of other people who have got it so much worse than you.
  • Make other people’s day: It is easier than you think. From random kinds of kindness to just being there for others when they need a boost will do wonders for the ones whom you are helping and your own self esteem.

 

  • Employ the Platinum Rule: I am sure you know the Golden Rule – treat others like you would be treated. Kick this up a notch or two. The Platinum Rule is treating others like they want to be treated. How do you know that other people like what you like? Is it not better to ponder how other people would like to be treated? Would this not make a much better first impression?

 

  • Play: Having genuine fun with others whether or not you are at home or at work is incredibly inspiring and uplifting. Ponder how you can generate a good solid mutual laugh with each other. Carry that out as much as your laughing muscles will bear it.
  • Be grateful: Gratitude is when you are truly humbled by the many gifted and talented people you get to meet on a daily basis. Gratitude is when you are truly grateful for your health, family, and friends. We have so much to be grateful for.
  • Share your talents: You impact more people than you think by what you do best. Share whatever talents you have and do it freely.
  • Volunteer: Let it be at school, church, hospitals, fire companies, local business associations, theater, special events, etc. Volunteering impacts the lives of many people and it feels great having made a difference for others.
  • Sleep: Huh? What does that have to do with being inspiring to others? That’s really simple: You had better sustain yourself and sleep as much as you can such that you have plenty of energy to expend.
  • Believe: Faith has a great impact on sustaining yourself. I find it all but impossible to be a fountain and not having a strong belief. Stock up on Faith and you will be inspiring to others and have the necessary integrity to do that for the long haul.
  • Ask what you may bring – not what you can get: In anything you do with and for others make sure you demonstrate your servitude attitude. Serving others is key to advance yourself. Yes, you serve the ones you may be in charge of. Be open, collaborative, inquisitive, and help break down barriers for the people whom you serve. Give and you shall be given.
  • Be grateful: Realize that what you believe is a mess maybe someone else’s nirvana. Be grateful for what you have. You need much less than what you may think. You have much more than you may realize. Gratefulness increases your peace of mind and a mind at ease is a much lesser burden on others.

Don’t be a drain like this woman (click to watch video). Fear, hatred, bitterness, too much ego drain your personality and reputation straight into the gutter. Sometimes it may be fun and also lucrative to let those bad feelings and thoughts direct you through the day. Ultimately, you allow those dark forces to lower, if not destroy your potential.

That’s when you see a fountain make sure to think of what you will do today to inspire others to also do their best in becoming one too.

Ralf

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